In this double episode, Gordon Ramsay guides Essex chefs in creating dishes like sesame-crusted tuna, aids a taxi driver in a heartwarming Sunday lunch, and challenges retired cricketer Darren Gough in a cook-off. Janet Street Porter tackles the recipe challenge, and an all-female brigade joins the kitchen. Gordon initiates a celebrity cookbook amnesty, urging viewers to send in unused books for disposal. A visit to Jeremy Clarkson on the Isle of Man addresses his cooking inexperience. This culinary journey embodies good food, camaraderie, and creative exploration.
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Welcome to the F-word more than just meat and two veg I’ve got a restaurant serving 50 diners and all the dishes on the menu are things that you can cook at home and to prove it I’ve thrown all the professional Cooks out the kitchen and replac them with passionate amateurs they’re all [ __ ]
Burnt they’re all burnt my man we [ __ ] so many bass so early we’ve run out each week is a different Brigade and they better be bloody good because we’ got 50 paying customers you can’t just shout James oil Gordon oil I mean next we ask me wi your [ __ ] ass if they don’t
Like it they don’t pay it’s as simple as that for the last 3 hours you’d be calling me mate Gordon Gordon James it be greatly appreciated for the next 20 minutes Gordon I’m not your [ __ ] mate and I fac some of my toughest critics yet golden on your bike
Son in the was bad I C my mother and I C my dad and I love my mother and I love my dad want to have all that never had the F was here the f c my mother and C my dad but I love my mother and I love my dad
Want to have all that [Applause] never are you okay get in some water yes [ __ ] me sor what a muppet [ __ ] hell hello gentlemen hello mate how are you well yeah not bad not bad Gordon James good to see you and this is Steven Steve thanks for shaving Richard Richard
How are you welcome the most important thing about the food tonight is straightforward and easy but the real key is cooking for $50 din yes if they’re not happy with the food they’ve got the right not to pay for it that makes you look stupid that’s my reputation going down the [ __ ] pen
That’s not going to happen yeah I don’t care quite frankly whether you hate my guts but between now and 11:00 I just want it right yeah nothing more than that yeah let’s go the start of tonight it’s a very simple seared crusted tuna with a waterest
Salad okay guys here we go Richard James and Steve now you work in the city yes yeah you all handle pressure yeah yeah now it’s time to [ __ ] prove it yeah first order four covers away table four four seed tuna four SE bass four Apple Donuts thank you the Brigade have been
Shown how to make the starter but to ensure that know what they’re doing I’m going to run through it one more time yeah goes in the soy sauce first yeah that starts to season it yes then from there we get our Wasabi we brush it on all over then get your seeds and
Sprinkle your seeds over there we’ve got a sesame seed crusted loin of tuna pans really nice so it will sear it and not boil it okay you focus on the tuna yeah nothing more turn that around see the color of the seeds like a nice toasted color so watch not too
Thin I slice he down look at that all that tuna goes out like that yeah I can guarantee when have 50 customers that’ll be paying for that now let me ask you a question all of you yeah now you may be from ess6 and [ __ ] tight and too interested in [ __ ] drinking however
Would you pay for that yes yes yeah I Would listen to it that’s searing the tuner in yes M what’s the matter the olive bottle is oh [ __ ] you help everywhere on that stove is [ __ ] piping hot yeah if we do it again the whole [ __ ] place is going to go up in fire okay you guys work Under Pressure
Each and every day get organized yes gold ripping it B this it’s cuz it’s cooked to F that’s why in the bin [ __ ] sake two seconds two seconds what do you need more olive oil more olive oil come on guys stop stop stop it’s burnt my man if
You just follow me yeah and you you ask me questions I’m there with every step of the way that you’re going through okay but you know quite frankly that’s nearly 20 quids worth of tuna in the [ __ ] bin yes so start again s it away please yes because that’s going to be
Like a [ __ ] limp dick let’s clear down we’ll do the whole [ __ ] thing again yes my name’s Richard and I’m a greedy bastard therefore I learn to cook I’m half Italian so I tend to cook a lot of Italian food my name is Steven I enjoy cooking tie Japanese classic English
Dishes with like a little twist you know maybe a bit of H Rish in the match just to flare it up a bit you know James I can’t see the stress of the kitchen being any worse than what we’re were already used to I get cold a prick
All day long so gold and Rams you call me a PR a really kind of affect me being in a pressurized environment isn’t anything new to any one of us it’s got to be done it’s got to be done there and then and if you make a coook up it
Can be costly as long as go man says you boys have done a good job I’m proud of you that’s G to make me happy I think we’ll pull it off we’re ftic so clearly we’re better than everyone else so um yeah might be a problem all we’ve got now is four
Portions each to do that’s all Water Crest leaves Bean shs in there yeah some coriander yeah spring onions in there yeah a little bit of dressing yes add a touch of Ginger honey and sesame old dressing and place it on a bed of thinly sliced radish cuz it’s so
Thick yeah what we’ll do we put two nice slices on there now are you happy with those yes yeah cuz I am they look fantastic table four go please yes clear down and start again yes okay we’ve seen that table come out a long time ago and nobody else another
Table just come out now but that’s been over 25 minut come on yes this a stunning [ __ ] beautifully cook tuna that has to be served properly yeah come on let’s go let’s clear your [ __ ] down hello hey big boy your Cutters that’s it away from
The hot plate we may be slow but at least the food’s going out looking [ __ ] fantastic yes yes place up forget the mate guys Gordon yes sord [ __ ] hell guys we’re not down the [ __ ] boozer now let’s go service please last table yes thank you go I don’t like fish but this was
Pleasantly surprising I I loveed it I love the sesame seed and on the bed of mly it gave it nice crispness so I’m very impressed Okay good guys here comes JB with the results obviously slow how many customers are going to pay for their startup very good news everyone everyone
Everyone is ping yeah that’s [ __ ] good news yeah what’s not good news for me on a personal front without the customers known is what went in the bin that’s nothing to be proud of however well done now that doesn’t mean to say we got to start pissing our pants and
[ __ ] up the seab bass cuz 50 customers can refuse to pay for the bass yeah it’s a good start it’s going to get [ __ ] harder let’s go next on the menu a delicious sea bass with soil sauce it’s easy to cook but will it be too
Much for the Brigade J at least come back and send the [ __ ] thing cuz right now this whole [ __ ] thing’s on my shoulders it’s time to get the grips with my pigs and I get some expert help to judge sleepy Chef recipes right Angley get you big [ __ ] chops in
There welcome back to the f word tonight the Brigade are getting a taste of what it’s like to be a real chef and believe me it’s not about ping around launching [ __ ] cat food or washing up Liquid Mar Pier white my ex- mentor is actually judging The Daily Mail dog food
Competition how [ __ ] sad is that they’re asking readers to send in their favorite recipes for homemade dog food it’s official slep chefs have clearly gone to the [ __ ] dogs pathetic so I’m looking for dogs ranging from short fat dumpy little sort of grunters to sort of I can’t
Resist I’m entering a recipe into the Daily Mail competition I just can’t decide whether it should be one of Gary’s angley’s Antony’s or maros so I’m going to get the four dogs to make the decision for me and I want the dogs to look like the chefs just looking at his
Eyes that is definitely angsley hey well he’s definitely doile is he stupid hit rock bottom mik Mentor a guy called Mar Pi is now sort of a chairman a sort of oh [ __ ] that’s it yes that’s Marco he could be here hello co dick what about Anthony well he
Certainly [ __ ] ugly enough for Anthony you know that look at that face spiky hair slightly gray but in a six-pack going on that’s definitely Gary thank you now where’s the kitchen this way downstairs each dog is going to D on one dish taken from their slly Chef’s
Cookbook and I wrote in some of the staff from baty dog’s home to do the Cooking C chops with apple tart to right I’m not too sure what the dog’s going to make of that one you know what is that in there cheesy chicken gr it looks like vomit we are in a dog’s home first time I actually seen one of uh W’s recipes actually put together
Let’s hope the [ __ ] book didn’t sell that well so uh pork chop Chester chow main tuna with B Moon vinegar the [ __ ] what is that boat thing cheesy chicken grat and crunch crunch yes judgment time which yes recipe will I enter into the daily male pet food competition the
Winner will be the mill wolf down in the fastest time now Gentlemen please enjoy your dog’s dinner yes be careful when you eat it don’t slobber yes Anthony apart from being the [ __ ] ugliest try somehow to keep the food on the plate okay let’s cut all that [ __ ] French crap out
Mark Pier white Mark Peter white from now on we’re in South [ __ ] London so we keep it real this is the comy of tuna with a pepper rad and a BAL vinegar dressing happy with the qu on nice and pink right asley off we go come on get you big [ __ ] chops in
There right Gaz let’s go free pork chop with the apple pie topping and off we go excuse me hello hey hey hey Anthony sit nice please and just try to look happy for once cheesy chicken grat crunch what the [ __ ] were you thinking about when you came with
That idea as time tis by all the dogs are tucking into their grub well all except one who’s turning his nose up at the Posh Nosh please eat some salad or something Anthony come on I’ll leave you in peace eat your dinner Anthony Gary’s pork chop isn’t exactly
Been wolfed down Marco can’t keep his food on his plate but angley’s CH main on the other hand is going down a storm and it’s hard to believe but W’s chicken brick has been rejected outright Ready Steady Munch eat Angley you have the best and the fastest dogs dinner in town at 1
Minute 35 and well Anthony I always knew it not even a [ __ ] dog would eat your food cooked chicken shredded 175 G egg noodles 100 G of bean sprouts yes Angy is official the dogs gave your recipe the pors up so I’m sending it to the Daily Mail dog food F competition let’s
See what Mara white thinks about it [ __ ] good luck I think it’s time to do something to show these sledy chefs enough is enough so I’ve decided to set up a celebrity cookbook amasty send me all the celebrity cookbooks that you think of crap and I’ll dispose of them
Next of course I want faster yes and better yes imagine 50 customers paying for the [ __ ] Seabass as well as 50 customers paying for the starter with 2/3 of the way there if that happens right big boy I can do my no I told there’s a spider there okay
Yeah out watch me you really got to watch me now Yeah center of the plate again stay nice and tidy yes so easy time for the main course a delicious sea bass in soil sauce Seabass for me absolute delicacy the flavor not just of the flesh but the skin is extraordinary fill it come down the bath bone nice
Long strokes every time I fill it a sea bass this a seied pleasure because they’re extraordinary fish look at it absolutely beautiful three nice portions score and skin and the beauty of this fish is that it’s so robust but so delicate in flavor sauce Noel butter shots salt pepper sweat down the shots
With no color that’s absolutely crucial vermouth SE bass is very sweet and Rich so therefore we need a really nice dry white wine to find that balance reduce fish stock in reduce cream in bring it back up to the boil sa Sor the flavor it gives to the fish
Sauce is extraordinary it’s peppery little bit like rocket it also has this really nice acidic tanginess to it it into the cream just to infuse lovely hot pan olive oil season the bass salt pepper just before the olive o starts to smoke SE bass in SK inside [Applause] down turn it
Over I just faced over the bass it keeps that skin really nice and crispy broccoli cooking for about 2 and 1/2 minutes maximum drain still got a really nice dark green color Seas out you can hear that skin crackling away the so has done this magic the
Crispy skin of the Seabass the real earthy flavor of the broccoli and then this wonderful peppery vinegary sauce the perfect way starting summer delicious see with Sor sauce done don’t burn the [ __ ] B okay nice 2 minutes till it starts to Brown I’m nicely colored
Yeah just touch the SE bass on there for me yeah it’s two P yeah don’t laugh at me I’m not laughing now no no no no no the bass is way overcooked it’s going to take three and a half 4 minutes to cook maximum yeah yes start again yes and
Don’t flip that fish until there’s a really nice golden brown B it service please put it back in your put in [ __ ] hell what’s going on guys [ __ ] hell and you’re not here just to spectate and [ __ ] go back and tell your mates what a hard on you had let’s
Go yeah got to get in there you know that nothing [ __ ] difficult let’s go [ __ ] I burn my hands of [ __ ] right Steve just for your info it’s the third time this table it’s your first table right we’ve only sent two tables both your sea basses have been cooked a
[ __ ] he’s looking all right mate yeah you stop calling me [ __ ] mate yeah yeah Gordon’s fine yeah thank you James yeah and if I give you respect and call you by [ __ ] James at least call me [ __ ] Gordon I don’t mind but [ __ ] mate forget about it yeah James yes at
Least come back and send the [ __ ] thing cuz right now this whole [ __ ] thing’s on my shoulders sorry chef and if you’re standing next to me with me it makes me feel that you care about it yeah yeah do you care I don’t care man well [ __ ] show me something then yes
Thank you Chef thank you Chef Mate it was my first time ever having sea bass so I was impressed I liked it I’m really not a fish eater so for me to say that is really you know it was 10 News moist it also been cooked slowly through
The flesh but the the skin had been pan fry quite quickly they burn they [ __ ] burn have we got any c best left cuz IR man now right come around here you yeah he’s burnt three hands full now you burnt it we started with 75 portions of
Bass we got half the dining room not served yet we [ __ ] so many bass so early We’ve ran out I’m going to f it some more Bass But when I F it these bass when we get them can we [ __ ] cook them properly Richard yes yes hello 22 portions here listen to me
On top of 75 just under 100 portions of bass hello don’t [ __ ] it I know you’re not a professional chef you know that but you are a [ __ ] bright spark and all I beg for for 1 hour it’s just a little bit of [ __ ] intelligence sorry sorry
Chef did you enjoy your main Co meos was good yes you sound French yeah I’m French not like Raymond Ral banging on about how [ __ ] our British food is again no no did you enjoy your bass I enjoy my bass but where the SE bass was probably
C sorry I’m just nodding off 2 seconds did you enjoy your B not as much as the SAA but [ __ ] me another French man it just why is it all mushed up like that what have you done to it nothing that’s how it was I’m not all watery and
If you look at them bits there it just looks like no no it’s a very it’s a very delicate sweet Seabass can you put your tongue out for me please got [ __ ] B baring on the end of it and you expect me to take your palette seriously when you got all that shpine
There John Baptist please wa sh what do they say JB yeah far too long far too long that’s the main compain big big problem on this one Steve that first table you cooked four times yeah know what were the results how many customers out 50 want to pay for their dinner uh
21 are un paying 21 why far too long to receive the main course and as well some of them find it slightly Bland it’s a line caugh sea bass yeah roasted an olive o it’s the best quality [ __ ] sea bass 21 customers refusing to pay for the main
Course I don’t know why you keep on laughing I think you find it a joke don’t you let’s get our priorities right yeah y [ __ ] the stupid [ __ ] laughing sniggering hey because it’s not you looking good right now yes and you give me those vibes I’m going to tell you you
Got those vibes whether you don’t mean it inside I just want you to come back this is important for me as it is for you important for me yeah so when you finishing on a high yeah okay are we ready clear down let’s get ready for
Dessert yes next on the menu Foody gosh Janet Street Porter is back in my kitchen this is fish stew this is a stew well whatever you [ __ ] want to call it gold and I’ll find out what taxi drivers really think of me you want this K [ __ ] off
Welcome back to the f word now jenese Porter last year beat me in a challenge only because we had a [ __ ] panel of blind taster that were so crap taste and distinction obsessed with lowfat food so I lost the challenge she’s back for more and this time she’s got [ __ ] no
Chance right the rules are simple the Challenger picks their best dish and I have to try and beat that with my version the winner is jet it done sah I’ll get out with oh no sah one the winner for today is welcome well done no really this time I’m determined to win
Um so don’t tell me chosen the food iow fat soup this is fish stew this is a stew well whatever you [ __ ] want to call call it golden right the thing about making this yes is that you make the fish sock uh the day before which
You get the fish manga to cut your fish uh into fets and remove all the bones and you just got to get a carrier bag full of Bones right sounds a bit cheffy that you know that golden it’s practical so you make the fish stop the day before by using uh
Onions you sweat onions celery maybe a bit of carrot lots of herbs Thyme and so on in a massive Pan the biggest pan you possibly can and some white wine am I are you agreeing with this or just rebelling in the background I’m listening but not getting very
Excited so Jan is making a fish chew and I’m doing something sort of almost like a little classic bully Bas but a very quick bully Bas because we haven’t got time to do a long winded 3 and 1 half 4our classic French bully Bay so it’s a
Very simple fish stew but done with red mullet fennel carrots shots I touch you white wine but the secret ingredient today of course is the perno and that goes brilliantly fish just like the good old days you used to have the perno and black you got
No idea the hard time I got after losing against a challeng you last time you know that what happened did you get your leg pulled down the par I mean no I was just in the kitchen they’re saying [ __ ] hell Chef you lost to Janet Street Porter you’re beaten by a woman
Who will not put up with fancy food things in piles unnecessary sauces do you know on the last challenge I actually let you win you know that huh Gordon that is AB and bollocks you tried your hardest my fish St spiling over Janet you’re right my darling yeah I just had a
Slightly it’s all right okay fish straight in and I mean really straight in guts have been taken out and straight in look at that then with the pans what I’m going to do now is just glaze the pan with a touch of perno now and white
Wine what I’m going to do so get all that flavor from the bottom of the pan it’s strain off his in My Soup look wash out the pan in she goes and then in there again Nice no if you got fish heads there or prawn heads can I have them I’m going to put them in my soup no I’m not giving them to you no [ __ ] off you shelfish [ __ ] right that’s [ __ ] out of order I’m sorry cuz you ask me for my head
Then I I have not shopped these vegetables as fine as I would have done because if I wasn’t being finished filmed on [ __ ] National Television I would have whacked them all in the blender and that’s a bit of a top tip for all the [ __ ] at home you know we
Can’t chop as small as you know super solic golden I’m now putting my fish in okay good how long the fish take to cook well I’m going to put in first the scallops because they’re the thickest I like these recip did you know that this is such a simple recipe I
Think putting the saffron in is key because the saffron colors the potatoes they look fantastic yeah so I’m going to put my little bits of fish in a pan and unlike Janet I’m going to cook them separately okay because they cook very very quickly cuz they’re small little bits of
Fish are you in favor of my cookbook Ms what to make people send in useless cookbooks yeah unwanted cookbooks that well you know the sad thing is you youve said a lot about this that people in Britain buy cookery books but don’t cook it’s like porn they just go to bed every
Night instead of having a shag they read a cookery book it’s true it’s cook I call it cookery porn they cook they cook they cook the mic I hope it doesn’t go on in your household so what’s the best do you have sex or do you read cookery books we do
Both treat it like a dinner in between courses read right Janet yes darl this is looking fantastic yeah start getting nervous please yes how you doing I’m doing fine I can’t I’m just doing a bit of sing do you panic when things go peir shape at dinner parties in terms of when
You’re J I don’t give dinner parties I work too hard what do you give dinner parties do I [ __ ] you can’t charge them when they come home can you I don’t give them parties I call them as SP of the moment and say I’m cooking chicken pie
Want to come around or serious I’m cooking fish J week on Saturday chicken p with pastry Janet surely well people the gays and the calorie Watchers don’t eat the pastry gays don’t eat pastry you’re having a laugh aren’t you I’ve got lots of friends that are G they love pastry well they fat
Guys Janet you looks a nice color it tastes great does it be scared be scared be very scared you think I’m going to lose yeah two challenges on the TRU you got another thing coming right soup’s almost ready going leave them both to sim now for between 8
And 10 minutes and then later on Janet loses Crispy Donuts yeah so it’s a nice yeast batter yeah now the most important thing with these yeah is just keep them submerged under the oil yeah out into the sugar so with the dut we’re going to serve a really nice slice of apple fritter
Yes okay yeah in there like that off and in yeah okay right watch fresh yogurt yeah mhm maple syrup and that’s a really nice fine Apple pure in there yeah look out with your fitter again out get it dry yeah and look I slice Bingo finished yeah okay A
Word of warning these are deep fat frers be [ __ ] careful be careful under no circumstances do we get this and start running around the [ __ ] kitchen with that Stevie I’m [ __ ] serious don’t laugh just for 5 minutes don’t laugh yeah y let’s go guys move up let’s get
Desserts out yeah and let’s get 50 [ __ ] desserts paid for I’m so determined to get everyone cooking Sunday lunch even if that means taking on some of my least favorite people taxi come on you miserable [ __ ] oh come on Taxi come on how are you can’t get a
Cab I wonder why the London Cal driver what what he done to upset you um I think they are perhaps now the most frustrating drivers on the planet they give you the the big one and the little one golden on your bike son no way mate
Golden you want this K [ __ ] off [ __ ] sake a couple of years ago I upset these guys on telly and ever since that night they refused to pick me up so I’m here to make amends one’s in trouble he can’t cook to save his life I just hope he’s
In a good mood because normally they are miserable [ __ ] I’ve always relied on my wife for 10 years that when I get in from work on one of them there’d be a nice dinner on the table I’ve never been a to take that in out to cook I’ve
Always ate the dinner and not worried about where it came from or whatever I think can cook is a sandwich or hot cross fun or something you can cook like bacon and that and sausages but not like a proper big dinner I split out with my wife and then
Uh I’ve got the two kids and I’m forever getting them takeaways whenever I’ve got them they’re not eating healthy food cool what a [ __ ] how old are the kids uh Alfie’s N9 Olivia there’s nearly seven uhhuh so boy and a girl Y and you’ve never cooked for
Them never you can’t even do beans on toast I can do beans on toast I’m going about a nice lunch for him or something like that because whatever you do to those kids now is a reflection of you isn’t it of course he is we got hard work here ahead of us yeah
Yeah fascinating every time we get into a cab the meat is always on yes huh no wonder you guys are so rich we’ve got around a few quick Sumer it’s going to take a lot to get this likely L out the Dark Ages and comfortable in the
Kitchen I’m looking up with a dish that’s got nine or 10 uses start off with a shepherd’s pie lovely but the most important thing about that is the mints I’m making a really nice savory mints lovely cuz on the back of that once it’s been used for shepherd’s pie
You can just evolve it spaghetti SPH ni then you’ve got um you know lasagna curried mints with some seasoning do you have turn on the stove um I’ll do yeah I love go this is what I might say I’m this exactly Johnny I am new to all of
This you’re making me nervous turn the [ __ ] stove on I’ll peel the onions yeah you peel the carrots let the knife do the work look just lift the knife up and just push the carrots down okay all the way through that’s it nice and slow nice and slow oh
Nearly voila voila look at this so there’s only chance on working MCA Resturant um so far uh no no um the hot plate stands this high so you’ll be [ __ ] straight away never to see little head coming with the hot plate the garlic chop it nice and fine nice slices
All in good man give it a good mix man fresh time take a little bit like that yeah and just got to try this yeah is a herb but it is so so nice M nice little spice to it right at the end like an adding yeah but it’s nice and
Mellow right now that’s sweaty down add some tomato puree half a glass of red wine wine and lamb mins [ __ ] without putting it on the floor Johnny now you got them on the [ __ ] swayed Gucci buckles smells ni oh [ __ ] you got mints on your gold
Bar add beef stock and was the sauce then turn down the heat to simmer special time with the kids at the weekend y yeah this can be Frozen and that’s a way of sort of just getting organized y oh [ __ ] [ __ ] aren’t they new tiles
Your dad just put down yeah so are they legit can we stand on them we get done for standing on good making me out dodgy car I thought all cies are dodgy back into the pan and back onto the stove Johnny please yeah we’ll do
And you know what as well go on I’m slowly feeling more confident ready yeah nice little mash than you into the just pretend you’re almost like icing a cake nice bit of cheese on top now pop it in the oven fantastic Olivia thanks man listen Golden’s here hi guys Nick Lor jelly at
The bottom yeah get them involved right then they’ve got these memories as they go up so you what they are looking absolutely fantastic they and they get to eat proper mango mango who needs take away when you got that fantastic M beautiful yeah really one crucial
Question do you want Dad to cook this again yes or no yeah yeah what do you think mommy would think go smack God Smack this is how our Sunday lunch should be 100% but it’s only you can make the effort you’re the only person that can
Do this you know that well they’re at an age where they’re going to remember everything thank you very much inde you done it he’s never had to cook in his life before now he’s got no choice because he’s got to look after these two kids and you know that Sunday lunch there has
To be 10,000 times better than a [ __ ] takeaway for your kids taxi Stevie four portions away coming up let’s go table 12 Stevie they Brown very quickly be very careful get your spider in there and keep them dunked under the oil so they cook evenly turn this gas
Down find yourself yeah they br over oh come on I over there going right listen listen you stop okay get rid of that [ __ ] burnt charcoal first yeah you take care of the apples yeah okay yeah what really scares me if we’re going to giggle and laugh and
[ __ ] make this it’s too dangerous guys yeah cuz I’m going to look a [ __ ] idiot if one of you scolded yourself with first deegree Burns [ __ ] sake I’m not [ __ ] running out of we run out of these we’re [ __ ] by the way yeah serve two each from
Now on okay so we don’t run out guys yes G A minut get put on there where’s the sugar pleas the donut take two from here sugar please wash your hands put it down sh too hard why’ you put them on the spider like that that’s what [ __ ] them over oh bullets
Man yeah just I need to stop everybody can I have some cold oil please you me to put jam on then no I don’t want any Jam in [ __ ] anywhere Richard yes Richard Richard look at me the reason why I’m doing this is cu I can’t [ __ ]
Trust you guys with a pan of [ __ ] hot oil you know that seriously then when I ask you to get serious it’s just a [ __ ] bunch of Giggles yeah and you know I know you’re not professional chest but I just want a little bit of [ __ ] hey safety us now and that’s why
I’m standing here before some [ __ ] scold themselves badly yeah okay finish what you’re doing did oh yeah no no say hey I’ve asked for it about 10 times yeah so I don’t want to I don’t I’ll cook them you just serve them put them on the plate
I’m just letting you know let me let me finish I’m letting you know because you’re the best one here so hopefully those other two get the [ __ ] message okay just put them on the plate for me and send the [ __ ] things okay yes Che thank you let’s [ __ ] argue when
We yeah and for last 3 hours you’ve been calling me mate well he a parent okay sorry he’s a parent why are you so [ __ ] chippy I’m not chippy man right Gordon Gordon James it be greatly appreciated for the next 20 minutes Gordon I’m not your [ __ ]
Mate next on the menu it’s judgment time in the recipe challenge you know what come was very Clos score three two to who and it’s the end of a very very long night I thought there was a big [ __ ] monkey on my back this evening because [ __ ] me was I doing a
Lot welcome back I can’t wait to see Janet Street P’s face when she loses this challenge John Baptist taste that taste what a real fish she sh taste like not your finger Janet [ __ ] know where that’s been you just put your finger in my soup that’s all right back
Hurry up and put Madam Porter out of [ __ ] misery please yes okay let’s go yeah hello guys how are you definitely to much it’s quite thick though I quite like the herbs I’m drinking you very well let’s get a bit of fish it’s fantastic really delicate flavors don’t it’s not the best fish
Soup I’ve ever had but I love the look it looks tomato which I like but you can see the fish in it where the I love it looks like a pastur fish tastes a lot of chili in it I like the SP okay where’s that lazy frog okay it
Wasn’t difficult yeah one was a very classic quick bully Bas red m one was done out tece just mysp of a French classic you know what no very close what was the score three two to who obviously actually winful jet so well done you’re having a laugh
On what did they say no no they said it’s too [ __ ] hot janets for God’s sake oh I love you no yeah they prefer janets it was delicious it was meaty full boded bit like me bit like your [ __ ] buckers give me K now get out yes I’ll be back [ __ ] hell [ __ ] right now time for some Posh totty Trin and Susanna okay the pigs have been here a week now they take a lot of looking after but the kids are really rising to the challenge our duties who’s going to clean up the Poo me okay there you go
Look oh look Jack come here look at his little ear look she’s cut quite badly on her ear see the top of her ear what they’re doing is they’re catching the clip on the fence so when she’s scratching her ears that clip on the back of her ear is pulling so it’s
Bleeding hi Gordon so called in Christine and Kevin to get some advice the Breeders who have bought the pigs from last week good see you we brought you a little prey for them thank you what is it it’s a bit of a tree trunk this hollow of tree stump should satisfy
The pig’s natural desire for a good old scratch daddy two seconds two seconds I want to talk to Christine about their ears look cuz see the blood where they’ve been catching if we don’t clean it up it’s going to get infected so you’ve done a really good job in
Spotting that so we just clean it up with some cotton wool some warm salted water which will make them squeal but at least it will have the antiseptic effect and these little piggies squealed all the way Home it may sound harsh but it really is in the pig’s best interest they definitely won’t bite no no no no pigs squeal I mean they squeal as if they’re being murdered and they fight I mean they don’t want to be turned upside down on their bottom so um even though
It’s it’s not actually that much of a discomfort for them uh they don’t want to be there cool they don’t like there is been clean do they I think we should give them a little treat Now with an apple or something don’t you come on Jack feed them nicely one
Each the pigs certainly let you know when there in any discomfort so I’m going to make sure these girls live a life of luxury are you ready let’s go guys please yes let take them off come Richard James I should be there and you should be here
Yeah I saw the first [ __ ] pan of donuts charcoal yeah send the [ __ ] place Yes thank you last table that’s it I’m seriously unhappy with that because out of those 50 customers you managed to cook for one table but when I saw the way they were overcooked at the beginning there’s no way on Earth you guys are ready to step up and [ __ ]
Cook Donuts you cooked one table out there I hope the [ __ ] okay they’re paying for them but that was a bit of a let down okay Y and thanks for calling me Chef that’s all I wanted from the out thank you very much Clear down that’s creep crispy and sugary and
It was everything I want in a dessert appearance-wise I wasn’t that impressed kind of looked like two brown balls just stuck there so I proded it and then nice kind of the apples kind of came throling out sort thing and I thought oh this looks interesting I love the pudding but
I don’t think it does make up the fact that we did wait such a long time for our M that was a tough call okay Gordon okay um feedback for the donuts please what were they the appointed the bo the waiting time few people think that the
Donut is a bit gry that was a donut so they’re supposed to be cooked in [ __ ] fat how many customers are going to pay for their donuts okay we’re having 12 none per year for the for the donuts there was a fresh Apple compart injected into the donut before they went to the
Table let’s start off with the starters the seller of tuna yeah brilliant well done all 50 customers agreed to pay for that [ __ ] starter the negative side we wasted a lot yeah the positive side they all pay for it the seab bass 21 C customers refuse to pay for it a lot of
Waste a long wait and there 12 refuse to pay so the total well done 117 dishes paid for yeah more importantly you [ __ ] hung in there yes the challenge was for you guys to cook for every [ __ ] table and make sure those customers paid I felt there was a big
[ __ ] monkey on my back this evening because [ __ ] me was I doing a lot I think you could see that Richard would you open your own restaur now yeah piece of piss no no no piece of piss piece of well done can we get a drink now can you
Get a drink cool [ __ ] essic boys yeah now [ __ ] off and get a drink thank [ __ ] I wasn’t born in [Applause] Essex next week is the girls turn in the kitchen the [ __ ] kitchen’s cake in Smoke we [ __ ] wasted over 200 eggs and [ __ ] all been served Darren go bows me a googly in the recipe challenge what could you teach me in one minute how to dance we did Ballroom Ballroom
Well you can be my [ __ ] Co [ __ ] out hold on minute and I try my hardest to teach Jeremy Clarkson how to cook Jeremy Clarkson is full of [ __ ] yes he is I am full of [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [ __ ] welcome to the [Applause] FW I’ve got a new restant that seats 50 but all the dishes on the menu are still things that everyone can cook at home and to prove it I’ve thrown all the professional Cooks out the kitchen and replace them with passionate amateurs
Before I met you guys at least thought that you could [ __ ] cook scrambled eggs each week is a different Brigade and they better be bloody good because we got 50 paying customers if they don’t like it they don’t pay it’s as simple as that look we [ __ ] kitchen cing smoke
We [ __ ] wasted over 200 eggs and [ __ ] it all be served and I take Jeremy claron to task for refusion to cook Jeremy claron is full of [ __ ] yes he is I am full of [ __ ] the was here and the was bad C my mother and I C my dad I
Love my mother and I love my dad what I have all and never had the was here the CU my mother and C my my dad that I love my mother and I love my dad want to have all that never [Applause] had right ladies hello blonds krie nice
To meet you how are you I’m very well n how are you nice to meet you and this is Kate nice to meet you and Rebecca good to meet you likewise good to see you now you ladies think that you’re good enough and talented enough and strong enough to
Work in a Ramsey Kitchen yes got a fully booked dining room you are responsible for the stus the main and the dessert and we’re going to be working as a team yeah absolutely do not let me down right stove’s on get these lit straight away ncol what are you doing trying to
Like this and making a hash of it you should know exactly how to light the [ __ ] stove by now no we did before B you did before f me room for a tough night now right ladies yes there’s 12 tables out there and the first cause is
Scrambled eggs you’re going to do one table each on order five c table six five scrambled egg five black Breen five Grattan Savion yes yes right Carrie five scrambled eggs away okay on order four covers table 11 four scrambled egg floor black Breen for saan Grattan yes chef
Let’s go ladies come on scrambled egg with wild mushroom is the delicious and easy starter the Brigade have been shown how to make it and it’s simple but you have to concentrate slicing your bread how many are you doing there Kate four yeah Rebecca I’ve asked for four from
You as well but there’s nothing on okay didn’t realize we were doing St simultaneous listen ladies ladies the only way to do this is Separate Tables you’re only cooking on average four portions of scrambled eggs each nothing more than that Nicola get your eggs on well I thought I was doing the mushrooms
We’re doing one table each okay so you’ve got five portions of scrambled eggs four portions five portions four portions four portions in a and that’s it spit this now taste that Carrie and tell me the first thing you taste in your mouth Quick egg it’s burnt you can’t taste that’s burnt yeah I can get it in the bin let’s go okay Rebecca yeah what is that I know I’m really sorry um really I know okay sorry um get it in the pin and start Again so the Brigade I’ve got actually think they can hack it are krie Kate Rebecca and Nicola I’m Rebecca I have quite a lot of friends over for dinner so I get lots of practice but maybe more important to me is the Aesthetics and Perfection of the food I’m Carrie I’m incredibly enthusiastic
About food I make my own pasta I make my own chocolate puddings I make my own Thai green curry paste my name’s Nicola I eat out quite a lot so I know what food should be like should taste like should look like I’m Kate I’m a very
Good team player I’m great at following recipes I’m brilliant at following instructions so I think that given the challenge I will live up to it I think we’re all very good at taking a lot of pressure a lot of stress we will really be pulling out all the stops
And we will be so focused we really like to test ourselves don’t we so we like things to actually be quite hard cuz when you come to the other side you feel like you’ve really accomplished something that’s our mission we want to be the best we will be we will be we will
Determined Carrie yeah bring them here they’re burnt as well show me lift the pan up what are we doing come here come here come here come here yeah ladies ladies Carrie we’ve been cooking now for 20 minutes yeah and fuckles happened I’m not here for 5 hours and know the customers you know
That before I met you guys at least thought that you could [ __ ] cook scrambled eggs times 4 right now we’ll cook five more portions together and then we follow suit again okay yeah so scrambled egg with wild mushrooms garlic shot soate the shalot and we get our mushrooms in yes this is
A fantastic way to use wild mushrooms the richness of the scrambled egg really sets off the earthy flavor of the mushrooms toast I’m happy with that now been grilled it’s ready to roll mushrooms are working water’s coming out of the mushroom we’re getting some color on there and more importantly we’re
Getting a bit of flavor on there yes I got five pors of scrambled eggs to do yes 15 eggs roughly 10 in there yeah five in there number butter in each one yes and then start off and on yeah L moving that quick off and yeah well I mean we got to
Be that quick can I just say we haven’t served anyone yet you know that we’re just trying to get a timing right but it’s just it’s just a little bit of thought Carrie I started you off slowly and then it will went a little bit pear-shaped creem fresh chives whisk in
Right even now the scramble dig is still cooking yeah that’s right just remember one thing this is not [ __ ] breakfast and bed these diners are paying for this food do you understand so it has to be [ __ ] delicious right spoon you might think scrambled egg is just for breakfast but combined with luxurious
Wild mushrooms it makes a great starter garlic out goodbye to the garlic and then just scatter them around clean the plates please okay right ladies we happy with that yeah new start start yes a bit of composure hello and we communicate to one another okay yes yeah Kerry niola let’s go yeah okay
Okay right Nicola burning what’s going on oh for [ __ ] sake [ __ ] hell all right ladies hey ladies oh [ __ ] me Gordon yes John Baptist people are complaining about the the smell of the burn in the restaurant what can I do no I don’t know I tell you
Open the window or open the door do something [ __ ] use your brain I’m not interested in blaming anything and look we’re [ __ ] kitchen caked in Smoke we [ __ ] wasted over 200 eggs and [ __ ] all be served next on the menu I tried to work out which side down go bats for in the
Recipe challenge so you like dancing you got two earrings you got a pink T-shirt you play a girls game anything you want to tell me Hugh furly whitting stool sees trouble ahead in my back Garden they seem really quite locked on to the idea that these pigs are here eventually
To be eaten to be honest it’s Gordon I’m worried about and will the Brigade ever get the starter serve to a hungry and Restless dining room I’m excited about scrambled eggs but right now I’m [ __ ] [ __ ] myself you know that it’s like a [ __ ] war zone would be so bad if
We’re [ __ ] cooking something complic scrambled [Applause] eggs s about delay we’re a little bit in the [ __ ] Kaka yeah I mean Beyond Bel this is just turning out to be a [ __ ] disaster you know I’m excited about scrambled eggs but right now I’m [ __ ] [ __ ] myself you know that this is not scramble egg this is a
[ __ ] so I know they’ve been waiting for [ __ ] ages he it’s like a [ __ ] in war zone wouldn’t be so bad if we’re [ __ ] cooking something complicated scrambled eggs what can I say it’s been an hour and a half since the diner sat down and 2/3 of the dining
Room are still to be served their scrambled egg with wild mushrooms I’m fed up I’m thinking of fancy going down the pub we’ been waiting too long come on please on order ladies listen four covers table two four scrambled egg four black gream four sabon no answer yes good and four
Oh ladies hello Nicola you’re part of the team it’d be nice if you could answer I’ll call it out again none of Us’s listening again you just all switched off I order a four covers table too tiny bit more can you just talk a little bit less so when I call over
You you’re not listening to me I’m trying to call out an order but your conversation is far more important on order four covers table two four scrambled egg four black bream for sabon thank you yeah Hallelujah let’s go nice clean Place yeah all the way around same way gentle gentle watch your tickets
That’s it we’re in a kitchen now yeah yeah we’re not in your [ __ ] [ __ ] hot Immaculate little kitchen at home in Chelsea let’s go yeah tonight’s Brigade nominated themselves to work in my kitchen because they believe they’re Great Cooks who’ve Got What It Takes yeah yeah yeah very put the spoon
Down and and put the pl up let’s go good it was a nice texture it wasn’t too dry had a nice favor it was seasoned prop I eaten my dog’s leg I was that hungry uh good evening apparently weren’t happy with the scrambled eggs you like your scrambled eggs firm I
Really like them firm now the scrambled eggs are never meant to be firm that’s called an omelet sweetheart scrambled eggs are served slightly runny B they had no flavor I tasted those scrambled eggs I seasoned those scrambled eggs what you eat before you um tasted the scrambled eggs you must have eaten
Something else cuz that was Bland there was no flavor in that you can do better than that I can see quite clearly you’re a lady likes her food you’re right I want some unfortunately you got a [ __ ] Bland palet [ __ ] me I got the result for the St right
Ladies hello excuse me let’s go okay so out of 50 ders tonight 50 din we got 33 people who are not paying why because they’re not happy with the food is it the time they waited or is it time is the way it’s been cooked they don’t want
To it now I’m not [ __ ] around now now you got to really seriously pull it back up let’s make it back yeah and let’s win them back with a main course yes yeah let’s go Okay before I get these girls on the main course God help me here’s what happened when I tried to get Jeremy Clarkson in the kitchen to cook Sunday [Applause] lunch I’m here in the island man to find out what first attracted the multi-millionaire gobshite to this offshore tax Haven well some people when you like you know the really amazing thing about the a of man you’re relax by law to shoot a Scotsman if he’s within 20 ft of the
Beach and to get him out of the car and into the kitchen to cook Sunday lunch for his wife frony and his three kids sorry we’re late what a nightmare first stop his decidedly penis shaped House what if he doesn’t do anything my job on a Sunday is to eat lunch at the head of the table smoke 500 cigarettes and watch a Grand Prix and surely he drives you to school in the quickest no he’s never D me to school he doesn’t know the way to school that’s
Extraordinary I got my income tax this morning Island man’s not exactly fed for its cuisine food here is fuel fuel fuel we’re going to change that today and do something quite vibrant exciting with lobsters yeah poach Lobster just done plain beautiful Water Crest salad potatoes and we’re going to make an
Ioli that’s the thing around a nipple ooh I’m not sure I want to eat somebody’s a it’s a garlic saffron mayonnaise now you’re more confident we’re going to get a lobster for lunch quietly confident yeah always get one might be very big but you always get one
At least yeah and I put the pots in a couple of days ago now this is what we’re going in the island man may not be a culinary Hotpot but one thing there is plenty of is lobster right guys Gordon’s got it absolutely Lobster Lobster’s in there
Look he’s too small everything else in class’s life might be huge but his lobsters are disappointingly small Jack come here no Sunday lunch on this performance look say goodbye when you’re a bit bigger yeah but the it doesn’t matter cuz we we just get a boat and go out there we’ll be
Fine honestly stress me lunch is out finding it and like claron who couldn’t catch a cold real Ms fisherman catch around 30 tons of lobster a year which is worth £300,000 to the Island’s fishing industry fortunately claron knows such a man is this your boat do you know what it
Isn’t what’s that smell stinks macro yeah I feel a bit sick right now to be honest huh Gordon get seasi going over a speed bump man from wesworth The Salty Sea Dog nice great condition and vibrant as well they’re very strong aren’t they huh Christ almighty yeah well that wasn’t
Bad was it no that’s a good that’s a good hul quick have a look now look at these listen they got elastic bands of course they’re real there you go look they’re see go and have a look in the Rock pools okay we’ll get these cooked yes Lobster contains
More meat per pound than any other shellfish so it’s great for Sunday lunch so we’re just going to boil them very very plainly how long are you going to do it for about 6 7 minutes per Lobster do you put vinegar in there um this is
Sweet The Lobster on its own is just you know delicious and it doesn’t really need much enhancement that instantly kills them and just for sort of putting them in boiling water is what slow and agony they’re dead by then well if you want to waste time stabbing it in the head you
Go right ahead will you separate three egg yolks from me yeah yeah and I’ll show how to make the perfect eye only have you seen our eggs these are our chicken they’re called cots old leg bars or something or other and they lay blue eggs and then we got those that lay
Brown ones that’s David Beckham that’s soul Campbell and Paul skulls and Rooney no cuz they were named before Rooney and anyway we don’t have a chicken that stupid and did you want it separating from the shell as well to make ioli put the yolks in the blender with garlic
Saffron mustard lemon juice and olive oil and Blitz there we go how do you stop it curdling tablespoon of cold water if it curdles straight away oh straight really yeah that’s quite a lot it’s not too fast you’re not supposed to put that much in there you’ve got your cat’s [ __ ] on
M that’s yummy smells amazing yeah so fresh it is one of the great Foods this I think this and crab and see that little line there yeah I’m not going to actually you taste it that’s it [ __ ] sack you never eat that that’s I’ve never taken that out that that unfortunately I’ve eaten
That so many times and you know when you think like you come across a piece of spinach you think Christ is a little bit gritty yeah you’ve just gone through through the [ __ ] sck right I’ve got to get the crap out of these ones now I am going to do this
On my own stuff that until just 10 minutes ago I’d have gladly eaten jery Clarkson is full of [ __ ] yes he is I am full of [ __ ] wouldn’t it just if you run them under a tap does that [ __ ] the flavor yeah never never never worst
Thing you could ever do to a lobster run under a tap yeah so when something as simple and as delicious as this you don’t need anything complicated do you poach Lobster a really nice salad of water crush new potatoes and that’s what really upsets me when you see chefs the way they over
Complicate a lobster nice nice nice nice fa small amount is what I suggest cheers guys thank you thank you for reverting me to the fact that we’ve been eating lobster poof incredible isn’t it I’ve just got Jeremy clarson to help me cook Sunday lunch for 11 it doesn’t have to be
Stressful does it it’s not stressful to just sit down and have Sunday Lun and they love it C up now okay and eat no stressful at all fin L there’s no element of stress because you haven’t got cat here in your family now is the time to draw back the
Respect of the dying room and make up for the [ __ ] that we created with the scrambled eggs okay okay let’s go four bream away four bream away yes sir let K how long for your first one and half minutes one and a half good thank you excellent now you’re starting
To look like Cooks now confident and Nicola the stove’s clean keep it up the next challenge for myam Brigade yes is the main course steamed seab bre on a bed of petti Bon fam black green this has to be a bit of a chef’s secret delicate sweet amazing
Flavor they taste phenomenal fill it all the way down just cut from the tail and let the knife run all the way up to the top of the head and then just come off it’s dainty delicate and it tastes fantastic bone run upstairs and Nick your wise little tweezers and these are
Perfect for pulling out the bones score clean film really nice fragrant Basel leaves salt pepper olive oil and place the bream on top of the Basel wrapping something lift that one is it keeps all that flavor in there and look we’ve got a beautiful little parcel and now that’s
Ready to start poaching in lightly boiling water for 8 to 10 minutes hot pan olive oil oil baby onions quite chunky streaky bacon into the onions roll it over you think the flavor the sweetness of the fish and the bacon and onion how well that goes Together fresh time peas don’t be scared of using frozen peas the peas just give it that real nice summery freshness absolutely delicious seasoned this is so simple peas onions and bacon the smell of the bacon and onion beautiful fish slice in under the fish and just
Lift it up look at it quality of that bream is extraordinary and these bazle leaves a little drizzle of extra virgin olive oil [ __ ] black green with peas bom famam done one put the onions on one does the bream come on got to work as a team now let’s
Go how long for you Carrie uh 3 minutes right Carrie look up there yeah and have a have an insurance policy use the timer but also time yourself yes okay five more breaming now we’re going to start doing two tables at once that’s it right bring the water up
To the boil and five th you don’t need to unwrap the fish to tell it’s done just press it if it’s firm to the touch it’s ready the fish is really thin so it’s not going to take that long to cook and provided we don’t boil it rapidly
And we leave it ticking over simmering it beautifully steams and poaches at the same time I’m trying to get one table moving after the other that’s fine that’s it’s not a dinner party it’s a restaurant I can’t just think about one [ __ ] table let’s go nickol and K don’t put your pee these
In until you’re ready for them yeah yeah you you put them in too early come on throw them away that’s it right Kate how long before we start plating up about 10 seconds thank you 10 seconds good come on let’s go then peas and mushrooms on the plate yeah
Up look listen to me the Bell’s at the bottom silver at the bottom that’s the top good nice and gently come on plate down Kate wipe the plate please all the same way up please yeah all the same way up come on Sor right that’s your first table out ladies yes
Yeah come on let’s go have you tasted the peas I didn’t see any of you tasting no no no we didn’t Nicola what you experience is what the customer experience take the peas and tell me you’re happy with them come on ladies I taught you to taste the scrambled eggs what your experiencing
What they’re experiencing I don’t want [ __ ] 33 customers refusing to pay for the main course the might be slly over cook can you check them for me look look look look just looking at them the peas are [ __ ] come on ladies start again yeah come on come on please carry are the five
Ready cuz we’ll go we’ll go straight for the five yeah and put our four more running now these are the five the other four that we our four more in yes yes where no there’s five from before I’ll put four in more now no it’s fine I
Do the fish was lovely the texture of the fish the taste of the fish is very nice I would prefer it to have been crispier I mean it was a bit slimy it was actually just very well cooked and brought out the real flavors of the food [Applause]
Itself right give you the results hopefully with some [ __ ] good news for the main course come on come on okay it’s not that good Gordon 30 30 people are not paying for the for the bream 30 that’s over half the dining room not paying for the main course yeah I know
What do they say uh they’ve been waiting too long and they that can understand what about the flavor they they find the um the brim a little bit watery it’s poached for [ __ ] sake it’s wrapped in Clon was a very subtle flavor unbelievable so that’s 33 people not
Paying for the starter 30 not paying for the main course I want all those 50 customers paying for the dessert yeah pull it back and let’s get it together start clearing down ladies yeah let’s go and get ready for the dessert yes next on the menu Dar G balls me a
Googling the recipe challenge we did Ballroom Ballroom well you can be my [ __ ] cool [ __ ] hold on and Janet Street Porter finds a new diet superfood push your fist make another Fist and push down can’t I can hear it’s heartbeating oh no there no heartbeat there welcome back to the F-word now I’ve
Never met a yorkman that can cook and I don’t think Darren goth is going to change my mind ready ready good luck let’s go so whoever the recipe Challenger is they get to choose exactly what dish they want to do and Darren’s decided on cooking a c dish so what’s
The secret behind the dish well the reason I’m doing this one is because I don’t nor I don’t like fish believe it or not really and this dish when I had it for the first time yeah actually enjoyed it with such an amazing fast right arm I’ve
Never seen a [ __ ] potato being peeled so slow in all my life I’m doing it left under there to give you a chance okay and what else is in there Dar bake cod with what else well I’ve got garlic in this I got a bit of chili I’ve got onion
In it potatoes so mine is a club provin out with some really nice clams the first thing of course the important thing is to cook our clam a touch a Nolly PR and then lid on cook them quickly so they steam very very quickly and then
Take them out and turn them into a Coller when they first AR you to do Strictly Come Dancing we a little bit nervous I really enjoyed it it was great fun and they paid a [ __ ] shitload of money yeah and they raised a lot of money for charity which was the
[ __ ] what was your dance partner like Lilia Lilia was very good yeah she’s um did you feed her Cod dish I don’t think the husband have been too happy what could you teach me in one minute how to dance if I put you on the spot now one minute just just just a
Move um if we did Ballroom Ball Room well you can be my [ __ ] cool [ __ ] now hold on back yet and across two three now back with the other leg hold on let me be the man you be the woman all right so we you can be your right
Leg first in the grin two three why you steing on your tent toes cuz that’s Waltz Walt walk so for the proper Cale I’ve got the garlic the onions the red peppers the yellow peppers just sweating down nice and slowly get them really nice and sweet then I’m going to reduce the clam
Stock down that clam stock will be the base of the sauce Touch of cream bring it back up to the bow and then just drop some really nice sort of Basel leaves in there are you right over there big man I’m doing well at the minute yeah so you
Like Dancing Yeah you got two earrings you got pink t-shirt you play a girls game anything you want to tell me it’s water cold and I’m quite comfortable with it metrosexual Prov Sal is going to go at the bottom of the dish Cod on top right I’m going to come over
Hassling Now find out what the [ __ ] you’re doing it’s a very simple dish where does the flavor come from in terms of you know well when you taste it you’ll realize yeah do I have to taste it well I’d like to think you’d taste it so I’m just going to finish finish off
My cod with a sauce we got our breadcrumbs and we just top the cod with the breadcrumbs and then finally just before they go in they get some really nice age parmesano and just great parmesan over the top right big man I’m ready not be long mate how long 10 minutes 10
Minutes uh give me a quick run through what’s in there well I put a little bit of chili and half a chili uh not too much some bread comes uh I put a coat of parmeson now uh then the tomato sauce and top and then put it in there you go
Mate job done if that pile of [ __ ] [ __ ] beats that yeah I swear to God there’s something wrong with their [ __ ] taste buds you know that okay good luck let’s get in the oven shall we yeah keep yours [ __ ] miles apart from mine here we go big boy
Yeah okay I’ll put mine on the top you put yours on the bottom good man okay Well Done Right dessert got this wonderful citrus fruit with a champagne Sab on I’m going to whip up the egg yolks yeah over a banie touch of champagne in there yeah
About 3 tbsp per portion and then just whisk away now once You’ combined the egg yolks sugar and champagne you have to beat vigorously for 10 minutes if it gets too thick then just add a drop more champagne can you over champagne it um depends how much you like alcohol well
Yeah a lot a lot nice I think tonight we should put a lot of alcohol in here so we can [ __ ] dummy our customers to pay for [ __ ] dinner 10 minutes sounds like a long time but it gives a fantastic consistency to the Savon oranges just go into quarters yeah
Yeah okay and the idea now is to create a really nice sort of circle yeah look at them beautiful you know we started off with such a [ __ ] hard time with scrambled eggs now we’re going to finish on a high and make sure every one of those those customers pay the [ __ ]
Bill and look at that consistency nice that look nice did before so be very very careful okay and it’s got to be brown but not burnt yeah yeah look just keep keep it moving but make sure the sabon is not too thin cuz if it’s too thin it won’t glaze the
Fruit right okay what I want to see this time yeah is communication okay I’ll start putting the fruit on you start whipping okay yeah last week foodie go shite Janice reporter was in my kitchen banging on about lowfat food she’s convinced the future is low fat I think it’s bollocks
She’s clearly on a mission to prove me wrong unlike gold top Gordon I like to watch what I eat which often means a diet of salad salad salad or boring old chicken but I’ve been told there’s another meat out there that’s even lower in fat hello aune janets brought some
Food don’t fight for an orderly C maners please goats do you know that goats got less fat than chicken lamb or beef so instead of eating chicken chicken chicken I could have been eating go I’ve missed a trick here goats look scrawny enough but I am
A bit skeptical that any red meat can be that low fat well I guess the only way you can really find out is to slaughter it and have a look at what goes on underneath that shaggy coat so I’m on my way to an abire I get all the best jobs and I’m
Going to be involved in butchering a goat I just have to um think of what it reminds me of as I’m plunging the knife in it weighs a ton I know oh I don’t want oh no no no no no you got a bit of plastic that out that
Thing’s head right hang on a Minute make a fist push a fist make another Fist and push down no I can’t I can hear his heart beating oh no there’s no heartbeat there P it nice and hard okay come back here no I don’t you’re not getting away with that easy come on no I don’t want
To know about the Stomach can we go un Butch of this so that I can have some meat um that I can actually eat we certainly can yep you thank you right there you have it that lamb it’s got so much fat on it on the leg as well which you never really think of as
A fatty part of the meat so the goat’s legs are much smaller they’re much smaller the amount of fat is is incredibly less isn’t it yeah the fat is stored in a goat around the kidneys this is where most of the fat content is so when you’re butchering
It it’s easy to take this fat out and then when you’re cutting the meat up you’re left with meat that does not have the fat running through the meat like you do on the Land well any time I’ve ever eaten goat to be honest has been in West Indian cooking but I’ve always eaten curried goat and as a result i’ never regarded coat as anything that you can lose weight by eating in fact the last time I had cured goat had to lie down on the
Carpet to get over it cuz I had carb Overload I want a healthy recipe for cooking goat so I’ve asked my mate Harry to help me out he’s a chef at the anchor and coat Pub in south London where goat is a regular on the menu you said it’s stronger than them how what would you
Say The Taste was like bit goaty go look I know you’re a chef and that words aren’t your faulty what do you mean goatey it’s tasty tasty but go what do people say in your restaurant after they’ve eaten it for the first time they love it I think I mean it’s it
It’s a tree it’s unusual and I think generally things are unusual in Britain generally they’ve been farmed better it’s just going to be a rundown of possible recipe I’m going to suggest pot roasting with a just a few root veg Ste gets all the fat out lubricate it while
It’s cooking then you can take that off where you eat and it’ll make it tender that’s it it’s going to be so easy all you do is brown the meat add the chopped veg the white wine cover with foil and slow roast until tender got that meat is so soft it’s
Unbelievable oh it tastes really good what I’m going to do is take it to a group of people who are watching uh what they eat and I’m going to try and convince them that this is very very good for you on that way Super come on hello to interrupt you come and join us thank you for inviting me to your meeting have any of you ever eaten goat no I’ve been finishing a book and I’ve been sitting at the typewriter well sitting at the computer for months and
My ass has gone to twice the size so um I’ve been trying to find food that I can eat that’s not chicken chicken chicken chicken it’s boring isn’t it so who’s willing to try it you’re all going to try it because you basically want to eat food
Don’t I’m going put some of these F in what’ you say gorgeous gorgeous very tender you give me this I said it was lamb you didn’t tell me what it was yeah yeah row two I’ve got a vegetarian well that has to happen that’s all right
Could you tell what it was no I thought it was lamb you thought it was lamb what did you think so nice it wasn’t as fatty as lamb it it looks and smell and tasty but I find them so F judging by my sample audience tonight it seems to have
Gone down really well and you know what I’m all for it because anything that broadens a careful diet when you’re trying to keep your thighs from looking like Bridge supports is fine by me so this is roast goat it’s been slow roasted so it has and what do you think very very good
Very um the texture is quite it’s tender isn’t it it’s quite tender now you’re eating it what do you think I think it’s actually taster than I have yeah if you serve that on a Sunday roast people would think it was that service table s and table six
Please yes okay goldon I know you’re really busy don’t you worry can I um offer you a piece of goat yeah it’s delicious isn’t it it’s [ __ ] deliciously gy no yeah it’s like lamb y but lamb let said a more interesting lie but the flavor is extraordinary it’s really good how would
You cook slow brazing like that or roasting um I’m fed up with seeing goat in a curry because I think it’s a lot more flavor some without having to other water the curry takes away from the Flavor and the meat itself do you think the people in your
Restaurants would eat goat yeah yeah yeah I think they would I’ll tell you what though I wish the [ __ ] you were in here this evening you know that I know all I know is I’ve waited my food how long did you wait for the starter truthfully Alam does it take for paint
To dry serious and if you’re in a restaurant outside the F word what would you have done in a restaurant that kept you waiting that long for [ __ ] scrambled EGS on to it walked out yeah walked out and basically scrambled EG is very hard don’t look at me like that with
Poison look it wasn’t a poison leg I was just Ling don’t beat them up they’re fine I promise you now we’re getting there we’re pulling it back that is very nice yes good thank you Janet thank you okay good that’s nice back on there again touch more champagne get a little
Bit too thick there you go whis whis don’t stop good that’s it excellent there you go try and keep it in the pan up service please not too far out nice and keep it in the center but PR accurate when you put it on there it’s really important to clean the
Absolutely cuz you’re going to delaz [ __ ] on there yeah come on around look nicely nicely nicely nicely come on come on ladies let’s go stop blow torching Rebecca it’s really important you don’t get the drips around the plate before you start glazing Rebecca yes come on ladies good clean the place before you
Glaze Carrie will we put that blow torch down cuz you’re going to set us all on fire or your [ __ ] hair on fire cat hello Baptist one table left got three this is it near finished my God would never end T three yes yes let’s go go pleas let’s go go oh dear
Okay yeah fine f clear down yes and then we’ll find out who’s paying yeah and who’s not paying let’s go now time for the big fat yorkman to face the music chunky monkey L first ladies first I think it’s perfectly seasoned I love it it’s beautiful no I really like
The fish it could have done a lot more flavor some sort of spice or something to get that that looks like a bit of bacon on the top but it’s not it’s melted cheese with tomato Pure or something potatoes are very hard I don’t far too hard you couldn’t even Mash
Those potatoes no okay JP okay guys they don’t look at me like that when you those little [ __ ] sad French puppy eyes on yeah no nothing sad actually [ __ ] off okay interesting comments um but one dish is better than the other one of course one dish is better than
Another one yes and the one they prefer is yes yes never mind about [ __ ] time you know that what a big boy well done thank you yours look yours look good I’ll give you okay yours look good now [ __ ] off out the kitchen now yes I’ll see you later bye thank
Yes next on the menu Jack and I have a bit of a disagreement about the pigs I want you to start understanding that they’re here yeah because we’re going to eat them not because they’re becoming our best mates and the Brigade get the long awaited results for the dessert give me
Some good news for the desserts [Applause] please welcome back to the f word now in a few weeks time I’m going to turn my pigs into a spectacular main course for the restaurant but these little porkers deserve to live a little bit first waking up yeah our eyes are Closed a whole Apple just for you um I think Jackie is starting to become a little bit sort of smitten back look at his cheeks Jack there cheeks there you go bab the kids have you know pretty much you know fall in love with them Jack was snuggling up with them the
Other day inside the pen I came home last night from work and sat in there and fed them an Apple so um you know we’re becoming very familiar with them Jack are you getting attached to these pigs uh yes do you like them yeah right listen listen we got to look after them
Yeah okay but I don’t want you falling in love with them so I know no no but you you’re caring for them in a way that you’re you get ATT you want to SLE with them pet no mate they’re not Pets the best thing about having
Pigs is uh when they grow up um we can ride them oh I want you to start understanding that they’re here yeah because we’re going to eat them not because they’re becoming our best mates with just 5 weeks of Slaughter day I’m really concerned that kids are
Getting too attached so I’ve asked huly whing store expert advice look they’re very nice pigs aren’t they hello beautiful hello can we have a scratch that’s where’s the other one that’s Trinny and this is susanah right yeah I told you not to name them that’s my own personal names but
The kids have sort of the kids have got the other names for well there a bangers of mash baking an egg and it’s like oh God what are the kids thinks Happening Here do they think they’ve got two new pets or do they think they’ve got some
Very interesting dinner coming in a few months time the girls have started to sort of come to terms with eating them but Jack is slightly more more sentimental about very sentimental and he’s like laying down in their bed and giving them cuddles giving them cuddles because they
Cuddle all the time I think it’s important that they don’t lose this connection between pigs and meat and the reason they’re here is for food I mean do you do you talk to them about the different parts of the pig and you know what’s going to be used for what you you
Know if you refer to the back legs as hams yeah rather than legs the H the h a good idea and the loin we’re going get the pigs to Mark out where the cuts of meat are on the Pigs we’re going to use tape let’s divide that like the butcher
Cut we got a ham there’s a ham right between the loin and but getting a pig to stand still isn’t that simple that’s an interesting Cup what look look Susanna’s not very happy having tape on her is she but why did we need the tape because we’re trying to think of cuts they’re not called legs anymore they’re called hams ham okay mean the ham you eat that’s right the ham you eat of course we’re going to do
It on your daddy instead ready right okay then see that’s the ham that’s the shoulder that’s where the streaky bacon comes from that’s called the hand okay where’s your daddy’s streaky bacon coming from underneath underneath where’s his snout what right so we got it now we understand our Cuts yes yeah the
Lesson’s paid off Jack is now thinking about his stomach typical ramsy yeah they’ve got to grow big so then we’ll get more sausages and bacon and they seem really quite locked on to the idea that these pigs are here eventually to be eaten and to be honest it’s Gordon
I’m worried about give give him a little scratch on the belly good morning girls hey come on don’t has chocolate it’s bloody tough having them in the garden known for well that their days are number the first pigs I had at River Cottage and I had two pigs like
That sent them both to St at the same time really and it was very emotional you know I was on the verge of Tears the minute I saw them I did fall in love with them there’s no two ways about that I’m enjoying the moment but I don’t know if I’m looking forward to the slaughter to be honest because um they’re quite fun to have around You could taste a champagne it was still light it was nice and Smokey where it had been kind of burent on top lovely the sauce on top was gorgeous with that little torch effect I love it when they burn it a little bit gorgeous so it’s sum it up as disappointing an upscale
Version of tinned fruit with Bird’s custard okay JB give me some good news for the desserts please 41 people land up paying for the desserts 41 yes why so many um once again waiting time and some people were explaining something a bit more elaborate the time issue I can
Understand yeah definitely simple and delicious I mean it was just straightforward uncomplicated and [ __ ] simple ladies to be honest the amount of time you kept them waiting for the starters was a joke yes we got a little bit faster in the main course but they shouldn’t wait for something so
Simple scrambled eggs on toast that’s what it was with fried mushrooms not good not good enough so starters 33 customers wouldn’t pay for them 30 customers wouldn’t pay for their main course and 41 customers wouldn’t pay for the [ __ ] dessert so in total there 104 plates weren’t paid
For that means only 46 plates across the board will paid for tonight we went to Helen and we had a roller coaster up and down it was a [ __ ] struggle and I’m telling you now you’re not coming back we don’t want to we want you you can pay
Us to come back on next week’s show Derma o takes me on in the recipe challenge with his Irish stew that’s lovely it’s just not Irish Che that’s a curry oh [ __ ] off will you I’ve come up with a new way to flavor the pork I think it’ be nice just to
Feed one of them some really nice beer and just look at the difference in flavor when we come to cook it and there’s a new amateur bade in the kitchen and it’s not just their Sul that getting overheated what do you want me to say Well done for [ __ ] the I don’t
Want you to say I want you to say something once Mr Rams and then shut the [ __ ] [Applause] up la la la la la la