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Season 4, Episode 1

Gordon Ramsay is sharpening his knives – and his tongue – for another assault on some of the country’s scariest restaurant kitchens. Gordon takes on a restaurant abroad. La Parra de Burriana is an ex-pat restaurant in Nerja on Spain’s Costa del Sol. Nestling among the cafes lining the seafront offering all-day English breakfast and chips, La Parra is the brainchild of 26-year-old ex-nightclub manager Laurence.

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Running a Restaurant in Spain should be a dream but for 26-year-old Lawrence Davey it’s a nightmare this is [ __ ] critical that’s not good that’s raw I’m not going to taste that yet but it looks burnt it’s the worst meal we’ve ever had he’s in the [ __ ] five PL here 1 2 3 4

Five the first thing I’ve spotted is dog [ __ ] and if I can’t put him back on his feet he’ll be on the next plane home when’s one of you going to step forward with a pair of bollocks when are you guys going to stop [ __ ] around with excuses cuz that was [ __ ] Shocking cadel Soul Spain for the first time I’m abroad on a special mission to rescue a failing British run restaurant during the summer months thousands of Brits will invade the Mediterranean Coastline and spend their hard-earned cash and to cated it for the masses more and more British restaurants are opening

On the Costa Campion chips sausage and chips fish and chips barbecue chicken get it right here and you could be sitting on a gold mine how many portions of chips would you serve well per week roughly we’d probably do in excess of 100 portions a day so 7 800 a

Week how are the chips very good yeah what would you do if band chips from here I would not be too happy at all did you not come no probably not this is English totally and it’s good English is there anything on the ca that doesn’t come with

Chips one more steak garnish please and a lamb shank I’ll get that one restaurant owner who thought he spotted a gap in the market is 26-year-old Brit Lawrence Davy 18 months ago he B £40,000 from his dad an open laara bana 500 M off the beach in the coastal Resort of n this restaurant has great potential to be very successful and very popular um it’s in a great location but I’ve been

Doing it for a year and a half now and I haven’t seen any success whatsoever armed with his Cen degree and a few years managing nightclubs and restaurants Lawrence designed a Mediterranean menu with a Twist to lure the Brits away from the rean chips my particular favorite King prawns

In garlic and ginger and chili served with our signature chocolate sauce on the side not very popular um which kind of proves The Adventurous side of my customers with the prawns in chocolate sauce failing to win round the Brits he lost 22 Grand in his first

Year I don’t know whether I went about it the wrong way or whether people don’t want it or aren ready for it I don’t know since then he’s broadened his menu to a massive 72 dishes cooking everything from Chinese chicken to Turkish kebabs I’ve even served chicken

Nuggets and chips to an adult and I absolutely hate it I really hate it but with Takens down on last year he’ll be lucky to survive the summer let alone the winter I’m in Spain to stop laara from going under hello hi Hi how are you Hi very

Well how are you very well law yes it is good to see you and you when did it start going really quiet when did it um we suddenly SN about September last year suddenly just went you know the light as if the light was switched off um and it

Was just it just died um ever since then we’ve been losing money what did you know about restaurant before you opened it um I said I did my degree did my internship in America in terms of that’s training in terms of sure sure um it was a nightclub in shelham and then became

Restaurant manager of a big restaurant in London and that’s when I like really said you know I’m doing it I’m doing really well I’m succeeding in every you know what I’m doing why can’t I do it for myself they need it they need me in nura they really need me to do great

Stuff and now you’re 26 Y and in the [ __ ] ship yeah how bad in the ship I’m €12,000 in debt 2,000 yeah so 70 grand yeah so the new is really on your neck I’ve either got to make it here or go back to London and pay back to my father

[ __ ] signature dishes or what would you say signature dishes um we do a great prawns dish with a chocolate sauce which I’ve done from day one prawns with chocolate sauce PRS with chocolate sauce yes so star and dessert the same time well F me that sounds different right let’s see what a former

Nightclub manager has to offer the Brits abroad huge menu extraordinary menu um and then different themes flamco Burger Knight Kat menu Chinese chicken or pork confused so what the [ __ ] going on if I’d wanted a Chinese I would have gone to one but I’m in Spain let’s hope

Lawrence’s signature dish of prawns in chocolate sauce gives me the flavor of the the med cool deal I mean it’s worse than a chocolate sauce it’s um hot over spicy chili chocolate Salt well that’s just stupid arrogance ready trying to match something that’s never going to go if that’s how Lawrence serves up

Fresh local prawns then I wonder what he’s got in store for my fet steak Kebab well he’s gone for the Kebab which is what wowor dish when you know it comes out on the hook so I think he gets to see that bit of what we do [ __ ] me is

That how they always serve oh Jesus [ __ ] me it’s the kind of thing you imagine Jordan eating with her [ __ ] hands behind her back is someone taking the piss how can you expect something like that of that to be cooked at the same time A Philip Stak

Kebab may not sound that exciting but it should taste delicious and that in terms of presentation looks like a p of [ __ ] if I thought my my Kebab was overcooked that’s nothing compared to what’s happening to my creme catalana all that smoke coming out of the kitchen is okay there the dessert

From my dessert it’s just when they they burn the top burn the top well not burn the top that’s they burn the kitchen down [ __ ] me well it’s certainly burned it looks like a [ __ ] ice hockey puck look at it comes with an appointment at the dentist tomorrow morning at 9:30 [ __ ]

Me it’s liquid and it’s it’s ruined so when you sat with all these fresh ingredients on your doorstep and the climate they’ve got the simpler it is the better it’s going to be unfortunately they’ve got more complicated and tried to be clever and completely lost the [ __ ]

PL the first rule for running a restaurant in Spain is don’t ruin good produce with fancy gimmicks good food will always sell itself Lawrence’s novelty dishes may have been designed to turn heads but all it’s done for me is turn my stomach prawns the flavor of the prawns

Was extraordinary fresh vibrant why do you want to [ __ ] around and put chocolate sauce on there um cuz I don’t want to be boring I want to be exciting I thought it was [ __ ] hideous didn’t work but then I came to this [ __ ] schlong that Kebab have you actually

Ever sat at the table and watched six customers with this [ __ ] donkey’s dick swinging in front of their face it’s hilarious well that is that that is is you know it’s a talking point it’s it’s a it’s a wow factor that’s a w Factor yeah it’s a fet steak it was tough as

Old boots I don’t know you know before you start [ __ ] mouthing up let me just show you a cube that big and a cute that big I’m not going to cook the same time that my fault oh [ __ ] me here we go can I just finish the sentence first

Simbad and then you can [ __ ] come back on me in a minute that out there was embarrassing so it’s painful if it’s painful for me and and you’re € 102,000 [ __ ] EUR in the [ __ ] [ __ ] knows how you sleep at night that’s don’t you know

I feel so [ __ ] about the whole thing but deep down I really want it to work I want my dream to come true you’re in Spain you don’t have to be that [ __ ] quirky to be good I’ll see you in the morning I’ve certainly got my work cut

Out I get the feeling nightclub boy isn’t going to give up his novelty dishes without a fight prawns and chocolate sauce For the first time I’m in Spain on a mission to turn around a failing British run restaurant former Nightclub and restaurant manager Lawrence Davey came to Nar to conquer the Costa he thought his novelty dishes of swinging kebabs and prawns and chocolate sauce would win over the egg and chips loving Brits but

The Brits aren’t biting and after sampling his food I can see why Lawrence thought he was going to come over to Spain and take it by storm he opened up at 24 years of age using his dad’s [ __ ] money he thought his balls were bigger than the mountains and he thought

He was going to bring a Mediterranean twist with the difference he’s got all the gimmicks and he thinks by being simple it’s too plain for Spain but you’d never think he’s €2,000 in [ __ ] debt it’s mid August and N is flooded with British tourists restaurants on the Costa will

Make a quarter of the annual profit in August alone even leata will be busy and boy do they need to be okay two chicken sauté three pitas morus one PR cocktail tonight is my chance to see how leara copes with a full service with Lawrence cooking the alakat dishes alone in the

Kitchen his suf Norm is grilling the kebabs and steaks on the Terrace barbecue so this is your little dungeon then this is your sure is this is where they lock me in for the evening yeah Lawrence might not have much experience as a chef but he has been a restaurant

Manager maybe his skilled lies in employing the best staff to do the best jobs this goes up and down so I can higher or lower it according to cooking temperatures [ __ ] so it’s a very modern updated barbecue yes it’s more like a torture rack for Foods a torture

Rack for food he’s not joking Now in my book I think that’s well done now suffering on top of the grill are 10 Chicken Kebabs that have yet to be ordered why did you why’ you cook me so early on well I’ve only just done them but they’re cooked yeah they’re coming off now they’re not really barbecued are

They almost like poached well they they’re poached on a barbecue well I sealed them off poached them and then finished them on the barbecue again kebabs grilled poached and left sitting in the heat they’re hardly fresh off the barbecue but according to Norm there’s plenty of life left in them yet I

Usually use them tomorrow for one day I say I will use them tomorrow they want these when side are you out your [ __ ] mind I know I was letting myself go there but I’ve told you the truth I respect your honesty but do me a favor

Yeah don’t even serve those to the Stray Cats after service tonight let alone the [ __ ] customers thank you [ __ ] hell rule number two for running a restaurant in Spain tourists might have holiday insurance but that doesn’t mean you can give them Spanish tummy when cooking on a barbecue don’t take

Risks does he honestly serve the [ __ ] barbecu kebabs the following night yes it’s your business I know and barbecues at the best of times are not the things to be [ __ ] played with in a way that it’s a toy and why don’t you stop him serving I don’t know Norm’s Norm he’s he

In a world of his own and as night falls the world of laara becomes even darker Norm looks like he’s preparing for a wake and after seeing his kebabs I wouldn’t be surprised there’s like way [ __ ] midnight mass here you know that I know I know I know what’s

That this is the Dynamo torch isn’t it right see what’s going on here cooking by Clockwork torch it doesn’t get any more Mickey Mouse than this you need more light out here I do need more light what’s the cost of a light bulb well done Philip sorry well

Done Philip well done fill y we haven’t got that so you H know old finished steak about an hour ago and it hasn’t turned up yet I’m just I’m just bloodly starving hungry the food may not be Spanish but there’s certainly something Manana about manager Alex’s service I’ve been sat there over

An hour for the main course he’s cooking it and the plates are in there this fragmented [ __ ] service is horrendous you know that is it normal for customers to wait this long frto yeah I can’t go any quicker than I’m going I’m going as quickly as I possibly can it’s not as if

I’m not trying he can try as hard as he likes but no Chef can cook 72 different dishes on his own to keep up with his orders Lawrence is throwing everything onto his pler grill it doesn’t get any lazier than that he’s depending on that pler Grill to cook everything from [ __ ]

Dad to kebabs to chhat bond and then this [ __ ] lazy Med V that is the most disgusting way I’ve ever seen [ __ ] good ingredients bastardized he might as well open a [ __ ] greasy spoon and serve vegan chips cuz that’s [ __ ] [ __ ] disgusting the huge menu the lazy cooking and the customers waiting hours

For Food Lawrence has lost the plot I don’t think I’ve actually quite ever been faced with something that already so early on looks like such an uphill struggle it’s not a shame it’s [ __ ] especially when you’re charging money for it that’s not cooking it’s day three and the hard work

Starts here stinks if I’m to stand any chance of getting the pter out of the [ __ ] this place needs a fresh start Forks on the floor glass everywhere cigarettes chips dog [ __ ] [ __ ] me I’ve seen some unsavory things in my time Alex 2 seconds but dog [ __ ] in the dying area is

Unforgivable first thing I’ve spotted is dog [ __ ] that’s not good enough are you happy with that no I’m not happy that’s disgusting yeah that’s the third time I’ve seen it rule number three Running a Restaurant in Spain isn’t a holiday there’s a laidback attitude the fact that we’re in Spain so we can

Afford to be semi casual because we’re dealing with tourists no are we [ __ ] we’re running a restaurant and the discipline here can be the same in Paris it could be the same in London it could be anywhere and thinking that it’s good to work in a dirty kitchen or a dirty

With dog [ __ ] forget it manager Alex might be Lawrence’s best mate from college but he’s clearly left his standards back in Britain if dog [ __ ] goes on notice then it’s no surprise the kitchen is dripping in grease your friers are used a lot yeah yeah you put fresh oil in there all the

Time well we change them yeah yeah of course you do yeah how often uh once a week the oil would last a lot longer if you got rid of all this stuff here look there you go that’s what you’re cooking out of yeah every time you put them

Fresh o in there is making [ __ ] all difference that’s sludge with the restaurant having a much needed deep clean there’s something else I want to clear up last February Lawrence put on a Valentine’s dinner for the local Donkey Sanctuary charity 100 British xats paid 30 ahead for a fundraising meal Rumor

Has It law made a complete ass of it how bad did it go I mean was it a it was a complete [ __ ] up it was absolute disaster in what way um the food was overcooked dry tasteless what was the menu um we did the chicken liver parf

Which wasn’t made until the morning so I had no time to set a chicken dish wrapped in Sano ham baked in the oven the chicken was so dry it was like carboard did he give it to him on the house no you charged them y [ __ ] hell

No wonder they haven’t been back you don’t have to rule number four when you’re running a restaurant in Spain don’t piss off the locals when the tourists have gone home the local exp packs account for 80% of your Takens in the winter months without them a British restaurant in Spain can’t Survive graas I’m heading into hostile territory to make peace with the natives I’m off to the local Donkey Sanctuary and hopefully after meeting them I’d want to see if there any chance they actually come back and get the rest one more [ __ ] chance gracias all I know about donkeys is they’re stubborn

This isn’t going to be easy I’m fascinated to get to the bottom of what actually happened on that fundraising dinner in terms of big event I not be fun it was a sort of meal that you were all waiting the next day to have a very

Nasty trip into the toilet what was the menu the menu was pate initially y um which was frozen you needed a blow torch froz defrost it on your plate on the plate Frozen yeah Frozen on the plate main course was chicken stuffed with banana supposed to be served with

Asparagus yes banana and asparagus it was supposed to be his signature dish not another one with a [ __ ] Twist on there this became cancerous is it because it spread like wildfire across the town oh yeah well it’s small quite arrogant about the whole thing if he

Thinks he can survive in a small town like this with that attitude he got another thing coming have you been back S no is it any small fraction of possib if you could just think about it if I could convince you just to put one foot

In the door it’d be a big [ __ ] help you promise us we don’t have to eat chocolate covered PRS charging a local charity for a bad meal smacks of unbelievable arrogance Lawrence might have come to Spain to offer the Brits something different but so far all he’s given them is pretentious novelty

Food I’m going to give him a taste of his own medicine have a taste of that smell first maybe a little taste first up a chocolate and prawn smoothie based on Lawrence’s signature dish what’s that taste of lawence chocolate yeah you smell chocolate be and then it tastes like um cookies

Cookies taste that one again no thanks I think it’s [ __ ] horrible okay um next a chicken and banana smoothie based on the dish he served at the Donkey Sanctuary dinner there’s a texture in there which it’s quite stringy stringy string it says stringy texture it’s a banana and string man

Banana and something horrible in it again bfold off the first one is [ __ ] prawns and chocolate could you taste the prawn there um well I knew there was something in there that was not very nice you didn’t get it what I’m trying to say if you got the best of prawns

Let them [ __ ] Taste of prawn don’t let them taste of prawn and chocolate this is the most painful smoothie cuz it’s the chicken and banana and it’s the [ __ ] the dish that managed to piss off the locals at the Donkey Sanctuary [ __ ] charitable event what the [ __ ] were you thinking about putting banana

And chicken together tell me so I can help you okay um it was just using like a South American kind of influences in roting chicken you didn’t [ __ ] tell me the truth about the banana no and I’m a chef and I’ve done my [ __ ] homework before

I got here and let food taste of what it should it’s not just mixing prawns with chocolate and chicken with banana that’s the problem it’s the other 70 dishes on Lawrence’s huge menu sit down I want to replace it with a dozen dishes that he can cook easily to stop the tourist

Waiting hours for their dinner have you have you come to terms with you know trying to restrict the menu every time I try to think about it I think of the people that have asked for those those particular items and why I shouldn’t take them off I do get some return customers

So I must be doing something right but where are these [ __ ] then cuz I’ve been here for three nights on the Trot and I don’t see the [ __ ] return business you give me the impression in such a short period of time I’ve known you that I’ve

Got a young man that’s playing with his dad’s money trying to [ __ ] run a restaurant that’s the impression I get well I think that’s wrong cuz I believe in what I’m doing is right if I didn’t I wouldn’t be doing it I couldn’t do this [ __ ] menu on my own with 72

Dishes on there I couldn’t do it because you’re not a [ __ ] proper Chef so if you’re not a proper Chef then don’t try and cook out your box and unless that’s going to [ __ ] sink in and stay in your mind I’ve got no chance Lawrence is refusing to reduce his huge menu but

It’s the only way I’ll ever coat with a busy restaurant it’s time to prove my point for tonight’s service I’ve devised a three course Mediterranean menu that will fly out the kitchen and get customers served quickly a gaspacho soup barbecued chicken with a warm potato salad and a roasted caramelized Peach

What’s the twist there is no twist it’s all [ __ ] local that’s it there’s no twist there Y tonight customers will order from Lawrence’s alicart menu but when he falls behind he’ll switch to mine and that will show him how quick he can serve customers I just want him to

Have that emergency menu yeah at the Forefront of his mind set his ego apart get that back in London and for him to concentrate on sort of accomplishing a fully booked service with no complaints got an order for chocolate prawns he said you know earlier no one

Wants to buy chocolate PRS he think it’s [ __ ] stupid idea first order that came in chocolate BRS and carrot soup so um it’s 9:00 and the orders from Lawrence’s huge menu of 72 dishes are now flooding in but it’s already starting to go wrong medium yes yeah

Look look look it’s raw it’s not pink it’s raw it’s raw it’s red raw all I want you to do is just cook a [ __ ] Kebab properly that’s still live on yeah please right you in control yeah yeah yeah that I’m not going to taste that yet but it looks

Burnt Lawrence needs to push the button now and replace his menu with my menu if he’s to avoid a repeat of last night’s Fiasco you want to push the button no no no seriously no no seriously yeah no you sure yes yeah hey this is nothing to do

With your bollocks and size your [ __ ] is it no Lawrence’s reluctance to use my emergency menu means it’s the customers who suffer and if I’m dead honest with you the lamb is everyone’s saying the Lamb’s bone dry ey it’s aing really really is a ping yeah what happened to that one

There not hot enough that’s not good that’s raw but the complaint was that it was cold yeah it’s cold because it’s what why when me start coming back Lawrence finally cracks right you all right yeah you are yes called your menu away you’ve called it away yeah it’s all done all you have

To do is call it away hey and Norman’s just got to put the [ __ ] chicken on the barbecue nothing more yes you got thank you for pushing the [ __ ] button pushing out my emergency menu should have been idiot proof but they’ve left it too late and in the hands of Dum

And Dumber it descends into fast this is what I put in 25 minutes ago yeah and I’m still time L cuz I’ve had to send food out I can’t stop start stop start I’m doing my next order which is two PK cabs and a chicken Kabab no don’t I just

Ask you I’m going to brush it I’m looking for the cloth La little come on man if the time I need to pull your finger out now is right now you know that hey I know yeah I’ve got two pork kebabs to make here but why are we

Serving pork PAB when we’ve got the emergency menu on I don’t know ask the waiter [ __ ] H there’s little point in asking restaurant manager Alex you on top of Step how are your tables do I need to go to any tables at all he’s so confused as

To who’s ordered what he’s now serving food to tables with no one on them no they should be here but they’re not here back to the Kitchen this place right now is the biggest [ __ ] hole in Spain it’s [ __ ] embarrassing cadell shitto at its best it’s the worst meal we’ve ever had it’s qu to 12 now we we got here at half 9 we just finished the main course so it has been a long

Way with customers worn out from waiting meals been sent back and now refunds been handed out surely even Lawrence can see that by sticking to his stupid menu he’s only got himself to blame I’m speechless so I I I I I don’t know what to say let’s get to the Crux

Lawrence um I think Norman was put on the fting much pressure tonight you know he your menu made him plate up his own plates and do the starters and the cold soups out there on the barbie and he couldn’t manage slowed him down too much um you’re telling me that my menu [ __ ]

Him up on the grill he couldn’t he couldn’t deal with it couldn’t deal with what putting a [ __ ] bowl of soup hat that’s already made for him that was it was shown when are you guys going to stop [ __ ] around with excuses when’s one of you going to step forward with a

Pair of bollocks and give me some [ __ ] honesty cuz I know where you were cuz that was [ __ ] shocking let me tell you something you made a [ __ ] good decision you pushed the button whether you like it or not it was too [ __ ] late an hour and a half late so whose

[ __ ] fault is it now Chef I’m [ __ ] out of here [ __ ] Yourself well he wanted me to be honest I told him what I thought yeah maybe I should have led with the whole with his whole menu but that’s hindsight hindsight has never even done this [ __ ] project It’s day five and there’s storm clouds over leada I’ve never felt as bad about a restaurant as I did last night and when I walked out I wasn’t sure I’d be coming back pissing down but just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse there was a Breakin and nearly £4,000

Were stolen from the premises overnight morning how you do yeah fine um first of all sorry to hear about the news [ __ ] out it’s not good it’s not good at all how much was it 55,000 years 55,000 years hey she’s not happy either well

She’s not much of a [ __ ] g dog is she Apes um and where’s the where’s the safe it’s not so much a safe but a cash in in a filing cabinet been jimmied here down the sides it’s still locked I haven’t moved or touched anything this is how I found it

When I came down You’ then got the the money box inside here unbelievable they’ve left the small notes they just took the big ones I not been F it’s the filing cabinet why would you leave 5 and a half Grand in there the most important rule for any

Restaurant owner anywhere in the world is always put your takings in the bank Jesus CHR I’ve got to think long and hard whether I can actually continue without that money and now that may be the Clincher that you know I won’t be able to make it it’s not just a failing rest I’m

Dealing with but an owner about to book his flight home if ever there was a time for Lawrence to realize that I’m here to help it’s now you know it’s your pride that you’ve got to stop [ __ ] worrying about because how [ __ ] proud are you going to feel that [ __ ]

Malaga airport with your bags what are you going to do wa no seriously hello what the [ __ ] are you going to do go home yeah go home with your [ __ ] cop between your legs yeah yeah and what ring your mates tell them what big [ __ ] [ __ ] you’ve

Been in [ __ ] Spain I don’t go through that kind of [ __ ] to [ __ ] help turn the restaurant around I can’t do it without you I’ve only one more chance to get through to Lawrence and get him listening to Me you wouldn’t go into a ball ring without taking clear instruction from someone who knows what they’re talking about Lawrence rapael listen to this man for the next 5 minutes because um he’s going to show you some very very crucial moves you m capot no capot I hope to God he ditches

The arrogance and listens to Matador Raphael more than he’s listened to me big [ __ ] Tes for La us now he’s got a stand on his own two feet and show me as the Spanish would say your kohas show me you’ve got a pair of bollocks and [ __ ] use them have you got your

Gas sh yeah no problemo where where currently tucked up Inside [ __ ] H stay out the way watch out [ __ ] H where’s your go oh it’s a [ __ ] it it’s just a [ __ ] storm I don’t think um Spanish BS like me very much what am I doing oh [ __ ] hell that’s not a good sign one thing he

Doesn’t need now is stubborn us here we go get off your ass come on get Up I’m not doing that come on get out of here come on with Lawrence carefully listening to Raphael’s expert advice he starts to get the hang of it you know h one one you’re right rule number six Running a Restaurant in Spain is a risky business it pays to listen to some expert

Advice [ __ ] scary now yeah how’d you feel um I feel like your Point’s been proven in a very big way you have a big pair of konas now just [ __ ] use them yeah well done get some water yeah [ __ ] hell now I’ve got Lawrence listening I

Need to get him cooking like a proper Chef every night Lawrence Cooks everything on this pler Grill to save time as a result it all tastes the same fishy meat and Meaty veg always you do now cooking egg on there for me whilst Lawrence fries an egg on the

Plung of Grill I’m cooking mine in a non-stick Frying Pan um I want to teach him how his lazy way of cooking is tainting everything he serves up okay that’s just with an egg yeah what I’m trying to get through is all that there yeah is what carbonized food for thank you ages

And ages ofy carbonized [ __ ] [ __ ] and all I want you to do now is start thinking about cooking in pans MH yeah I’m going to show Lawrence that in the time it takes him to cook a whole SE bream on his grill he could fill it it fry it and make a simple

Mediterranean sauce what I’m trying to do Lawrence yeah is make your life [ __ ] easier you know that yeah and whilst I’m still waiting for yours I’m just going to an orange a lemon a pink grapefruit fresh bzel are you cooked yet almost out and on

Now I’m not trying to be some jumped up [ __ ] SMY ass little [ __ ] I’m just trying to explain you’re busting your bollocks the wrong way around because I am not going to [ __ ] listen to [ __ ] Tom Dick and AR telling me they want to sit and [ __ ] compete with

That or sit and eat that I know which one you can do 10 times quicker and a thousand times better don’t be scared to use a pan okay do you understand he’s drilled into me my pride and you know my arrogance has really shown through and I’ve been a bit

Of an ass about it and a bit stubborn and you know I’m I’m really now excited that he’s here and really want to learn and and get this place moving the penny might have dropped but now I’ve only got two days to put things right out with the old

Yeah in with a new [ __ ] bin them yeah we’re short of coold tonight with Lawrence finally letting go of the huge menu it’s time for a new beginning in its place I’ve created a small Mediterranean menu using local produce five starters including figs and Serano ham and watermelon with feta

Cheese and six Mains including a pan fried sea bream and a barbecued chicken on a warm potato salad actually cooking properly that feels absolutely fantastic at last limited menu fresh ingredients absolutely amazing the menu will offer Brit something authentic fresh and above all quick to prepare and in reducing 72 dishes to 15

Service couldn’t be any simpler for restaurant manager Alex okay what about this table here 8:30 booking I’ve just take the order now okay good okay let’s go yeah the menu is simpler a lot easier we can do volume now now we got a chance to put the [ __ ] thing

Right it’s my final night and it’s the relaunch of lear’s new menu okay I’ve only got one shot at this and I can’t afford any mistakes cook changing you tonight yeah you’re yeah you’re coming off that barbecue yeah I want you connected to the owner as a sous chef

That’s my decision I’m sticking to it I’m putting SF Norm in the kitchen prepping cold starters and pot washer Tom will take his place on the barbecue chicken it’s a gamble but I’m confident Tom will send the meat out cooked all you have to do is take the

Chicken off the barbecue yep and put it onto the plate and send it yeah sure good you set this evening isn’t just about launching a new menu it’s about Lawrence regaining his reputation with the British xack Community 6 months ago he hosted a fundraising dinner for the local Donkey

Sanctuary serving Frozen starters and chicken stuff with banana it was a fiasco tonight I convinced them to come back it’s very nerve-racking having them here because I know how much I upset them last time and I know how much distaste they have for the restaurant in general and it’s really nerve-wracking

For me to be able to know that i’ I’ve got to cook for them and cook them really really well tonight will be the test whether or not the food’s edible that would be a good start with customers getting their food on time the relaunch is off to a good

Start it’s quite refreshing to have something different and not the same sort of chicken or fish with fries a lot better than last year yeah phenomenal nothing’s come back everything’s cooked beautifully yeah to be honest so far it’s been a breath of fresh air right donkey sanctu just sat down

Yes yep okay we’re on their starters now treat that table like a time bomb the starters arrived for the Donkey Sanctuary but just when I thought it was all going to plan Alex has forgotten to serve the wine how we put the St was down without serving the

Wine um of all tables come on at 9:00 the restaurant’s full but bizarrely there’s a backlog of people waiting for tables it’s Alex’s responsibility to get them seated but he’s flapping around like a headless chicken what’s going on with this [ __ ] table that’s waiting the bar for

So long table six Table Six yeah I to a booked at you see at the start of the night and I had to tell them that you know we need to have the table back who did you tell you need the table back the customer the customer what about the [ __ ]

Kitchen they need to know first cuz they got to cook it yeah so the move your ass sir for some bizarre reason Alex has got tables double booked within an hour no one can eat anything within an hour embarrassing I mean [ __ ] embarrassing Alex has simply got greedy

And thinking they can turn tables around in an hour as a result people are turning up for the reservation but I have nowhere to sit and in the Kitchen Lawrence is now struggling with a backlog of orders donkey Cent table on top of all that Alex has now gone into meltdown

Alex get a grip Alex you can do it Alex do it you can [ __ ] do it we’re waiting on you I know you’re waiting on me and I really appreciate this this is [ __ ] critical you know go come on Alex please we waited for 40 minutes for starter

Then sat with dirty plates for 45 minutes and then we were asked to leave the table because the next lot of um guests arriv five place here 1 2 3 4 five five five although Under Pressure Lawrence is at least coping with my reduced menu yep you got three shano three watermelon y

Finish us off in a minute soon as I get these out I can only be grateful that Lauren’s got the monkey Sanctuary main courses out before the [ __ ] hit the fan very very nice I mean it was a lot nicer than chicken banana I must Adit the food is

Actually very good um I think everybody’s quite pleased with the food if he can come up with this sort of deal yes we’ll be back again but the service leaves leaves quite a little bit to be desired I think a lot more work on the service it’s the end of the evening and

Lawrence’s cooking has been a success but Alex’s double booking Madness has let everyone down we’re So Close Alex so close you can do better I know I can do better you can do better I know I can do better turn around and tell him that he’s paying your

Salary [ __ ] tough night a real tough night 87 covers and it was a struggle and the service was [ __ ] pretty dismal however the Donkey Sanctuary have confirmed they’re going to come back that speaks volumes that means the local community are now back on their side and

Quite frankly you can’t ask for a more crucial time for them to support it because we’re just about to come out the summer season and enter the [ __ ] winter and without their support they won’t get through the winter in 6 days I’ve finally seen a change at Le but once I’ve gone Lawrence

Is only four weeks until the end of the season to to make the money that will help him survive the winter remember do not cut corners and don’t make a [ __ ] ass of yourself look a St reminder to make sure the standards never slip don’t make a

[ __ ] ass of yourself that’s gone that is [ __ ] gone goodbye okay I only hope lear’s doors will still be open when I turn In the summer I spent a week at laara the bana on the cadel soul it was holiday hell that’s not Co that’s raw former nightclub manager Lawrence Davy was up to his eyes in debt he had swinging kababs someone taking the piss prawns in chocolate sauce I thought it was [ __ ]

Hideous and his dishes with a Twist had pissed off the Brits is aing really really is aing Lawrence was so stubborn he wouldn’t give up his huge menu without a fight no you sure yes yeah yes hey this is nothing to do with your Bolls size your [ __ ] is it

No after knocking some sense into him I created a set menu of just 15 authentic Mediterranean dishes and on the launch night we won back the local xack trade that Lawrence had lost if he can come up with this sort of deal yes we’ll be back Again 4 weeks later I’m back on the Costa it’s late September and most of the tourists have packed up and gone home the beachfront restaurants are deserted and N feels like a ghost town I only hope laara is fairing better good to see you and you yeah how’s the

Month been busy very very busy ready yeah almost double last year so that’s [ __ ] great news good to see you you too how have you been really good yeah it’s been great yes busy it has been busy and you’re working hard yes yes less flustered yes more organized we’re

Organized we’re happy we’re communica and what’s the special Kebab tonight the special Kebab uh the special Kebab is in the bin great donkey dick kebabs are off the menu Norm still in the kitchen preparing cold starters good to see you my man and out on the Terrace is Tom the former pot

Washer now promoted as the barbecue chef and has Norman think out here again or is this your domain my domain this your domains but best of all Lawrence is no longer cooking on the pler grill haven’t used it in about 3 weeks you haven’t used the punch of Grill

Touched it thank you [ __ ] hell really mean that yeah yeah you must miss it no no I did I did for about a week I kept on going back to it thinking [ __ ] where’s my steak and it was always in the oven where should we s considering it’s the end of the season

Leara is reassuringly busy everything seems to be running more efficiently there’s an air of calmness around it and yeah it’s a nice bust which is lovely everything’s gleaming it’s spotless the menu is no longer the size of a telephone directory it’s one page and there are even some new dishes

For me to try I was a little bit cocky and um that I he’d love my food when he first got here this time around um I know that I really really want to impress him now with these dishes if I can’t impress him now then you know I’ve

Really [ __ ] it up here we are here is the squid and shet thank you for my starter I’ve chosen barbecue squid and shizo sausage on a better rocket it’s nicely cooked it’s not too chewy and the srio sausage just gives it that little spice that that squid knees

And that’s what you come to Spain for dishes like this for my main course I’ve chosen Seabass on a bed of cream leaks one of the new dishes on Lawrence’s Autumn Menu there’s just no comparison to what I was fed a month ago where it’s just really nice clean simple honest food and that’s what this place needed without any stupid [ __ ] twist 4 weeks ago lawence was 75 ,000 in debt equivalent to €2,000 and laara was on the verge of closing

Down what really shocked me about tonight’s dinner is I can’t believe it was the same guy that was cooking my dinner a month ago that was delicious it’s an absolute pleasure to cook in here now and I you know I’m not angry I’m not upset I’m just you know

Cooking the food that I love cooking and and seeing empty plates come back clean and and happy customer is leaving the restaurant you took €3,000 this time a year ago now you’re on €9,000 what have you knocked off on the debt um I’ve knocked off1 13,000 since you were here last Cash

Cash already yeah what do you need to do a night to stay open during the winter how many covers during the winter 20 20 so already tonight with 33 or 34 in for dinner yeah we’re we’re not home and dry but we’re [ __ ] making great Headway don’t you [ __ ] dare stop yeah and

Every time you think of stopping turn on the plch of Grill yeah deep fry your [ __ ] vegetables and [ __ ] hit them on there never again good night Tom that was value for money delicious straightforward local produce cooked properly and he’s not trying to be too [ __ ] clever and if he can continue

Doing that he’s got a strong chance of surviving the winter and opening up next [ __ ] [ __ ] in season ready to attack it with some money in the bank thank God for that the [ __ ] penny has finally Dropped h