In this thrilling double episode of The F Word, Gordon’s amateur brigade takes on cooking his lambs, with Ricky Gervais tasting surprises and Johnny Vegas adding chaos with pizza. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall assists with sheep offal, and Janet Street Porter triumphs over Bernard Matthews. In the next episode, witness Gordon at the abattoir for the silence of the lambs. Cat Deeley explores champagne secrets, and Gok Wan challenges Gordon in the kitchen.
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Welcome to the fword at [Applause] clares on the menu tonight the best Brigade of the series are back to cook king crab torini Lego lamp and shepherd’s pie made from my sheep and hot chocolate sule with mint chocolate chip ice cream plus Johnny Vegas tries to pull a
Fast one in the recipe challenge The Machine’s making it for you it’s it B it’s cheating fuckups I don’t it work for you you can’t speak to me like this hu fly wtst helps me cook the most exciting bits of my lamb this will certainly be the freshest set of brains
I’ve ever worked with and Ricky ja has a go at my extras you walked to the restaurant the other week carrying a stab who you think you are for was was bad my mother and I C my dad I love my mother and I love my dad all
That never had was here the CR my mother and CR my dad and I love my mother and I love my dad want to have all [Applause] never in in in in in in my Northern Stars welcome back [ __ ] well done how do you feel are absolutely fantastic out
Of this world with it very excited be back out there are some very Discerning demanding clients yeah customers that are expecting the best of the best yeah bloody good to have you back thank you to be here let’s get going yeah right time for the starter yes king crab
Torini yes ready yes sure first Susan yeah we’re going to kill the crab oh yeah oh don’t look at don’t don’t turn your nose up like that yeah of course here it’s a lot better the crab oh hold the crab take the crab for God’s sake
Woman let’s go oh no right on here please excuse me if you’re going to cook it we’re going to have to kill it first I don’t mind you killing it I can’t touch it Susan you’re acting like a soft Southern Jessie come on stop [ __ ] around in there through there knife on
There very carefully and bang straight through and then we crunch throw through there okay got to kill it quickly okay say goodbye to him first what’s he called you name him bye Gordon through through through pull your hand through quick thread away that’s it good good girl right excellent and now we’re going
To take off the cluster through yes there’s one cluster hold it please hold it there you go and there’s your second cluster in the water nice bring it back to the boil cook it yes yes okay good right on order first table yes four covers table to four torini four lamb
Four chocolate Soule right let’s get on with the toris yes we’re going to serve two toris per portion yes 2/3 of a spoon and we just egg wash half a torini jul why do we do that to make it stick that’s right up into your hands push and
Nipple the air out you ladies have got disciplined fingers you can do that che che okay right let’s just quickly go through the sauce together yeah lemongrass olive oil yes it’s like a sort of tomato olive oil sauce yes shots in there we’ve got our Basel our coriander tomatoes in and just leave
That cooking away right to let’s go 1 and 1 half minutes gently boiling water right SCE out ready to serve is cooked and then from there onto the plate king crab torini with a fresh tomato and lemongrass vinegar you happy with those would you pay for them go please yes t
10 there JB please yes youly wiing store Sandra apparently you upset your mom last time you on the f word yes by swearing is that right yes chef I had a pep talk before we left this morning me and Susan we was about to walk out of
Imperial Le soap is not good I had to have my mouth washed out with it after my over saw that program she blamed you Che serious why do I always get the blade I don’t mean to swear you know that it’s the company I’m in trust me ladies it’s [ __ ] great to
Have you back that’s nice that’s good table nine here very nice uh Susan you’re in charge of the hot plate while I’m gone for 30 seconds okay are nice Tiding yes [ __ ] does that mean I check on Hello Johnny how are you how you doing brother nice to see you yeah yeah
Enjoying your yeah fantastic so good to see you yeah no so good to be here mate you’re a very brave man later we’re head to-head on the recipe challenge how do you f your chances I really F your chances I think it’s something that’s beyond you I think you’ve developed
Beyond Simple good food serious let me just show you where we’re going to be cooking can we have a quick look at the kitchen yes I’ll show you give you a head start so you’re not so nervous ladies I hope we get in here hey I don’t pay you to chat work the
Room these ladies are also from Lancer ladies please Johnny the let’s go come come around come thisan j yes Sandra and Justine right right Vegas out the kitchen I’ll see your as long as you don’t burn anything you’re fine cook for them cook for you get out get out get
Out Mr Northwest Johnny vas get out jie you kick one cheek and I’ll kick the other half of his ass get Johnny Vegas out this kitchen now please yes bloody Hell like me Hugh The Shaggy sheep farmer doesn’t like to waste anything I’ve just l Ed my sheep and I’ve invited h w store around for tea yeah busy day at the Avatar yeah extraordinary day what have you got for he’s here to help me cook up a family
Feast with some of the more unusual cuts the most amazing brains and the breads wow and they are extraordinary it’s a little while since I’ve cooked sheep’s brains really so you’ve got the two different types of sweet breads aren’t they that’s the long thin one obviously being the throat gland that’s the sweet
And the Heart yeah look at them they’re beautiful huh huh very tender seems really weird haven’t taken them out myself this will certainly be the freshest set of brains I’ve ever worked now do you think tner and the kids will eat sweet breads and brains T will definitely Jack will definitely the
Girls I’m not too sure you know that good to have your garden back um it will be yeah when it’s all done but uh I don’t know it’s really weird within hours you started to miss him isn’t it where is Gavin now so he’s up in Oxfordshire roaming around and having some fun
Has he still got his knackers yes so he can be a breeding Ram I think he’s going into Happy retirement what an extraordinary turn of Fortunes for him I know right I’m just going to quickly sweat off these um you’re way ahead of me now onions no don’t worry you give me
The bum job again I’m camiz my onions in muscovado Sugar get a really nice dark Rich semi spice and then just going to put some BAL of vinegar in there and just sort of caramelize them almost like an onion marmalade great I’m going to put mine in slowly I’m going to color
Them slowly get nice and crispy and then they’ll take about 8 to 10 minutes to cook okay look at that I’m going to lightly poach I’m going to pop them in now actually all I’m going to do is is saute the veg poach the brains and add saute
The brains and put the two together nice leaving to cool down off my garlic First Slice the sweet breads up now they’ve cooled down just set nicely these brains nice like poaching an egg how lucky are the kids Fri Lamb’s brains and caramelize sweet breads with a marmalade of onion
Capers and vinegar you know what I was going to do just the lightest sprinkling of cider vinegar on the brains themselves that is [ __ ] pretty right sit down two very exciting dishes hey yours is it’s a brains for baby spring vegetables and mint M and this it’s throat glands
And it’s you’re selling it so well it’s sweet breads Meg Daddy I’m not that hungry sweet breads are absolutely delicious the brains um it’s an unusual texture very unusual texture very nice I do like it I prefer the brains yeah you’ve already had seconds of brain
I can’t believe it Hands Up Your Brains again mommy hands up you eat sweet breads again me I got oh no how about you dig a pond and get yourself a couple crocodiles yeah God instead of crocodiles giraffes I thought it was lovely I thought it was presented very nicely and
So many flavors coming through I really enjoyed it yeah why are we eating these things with legs and shells I’m sure it was happier in the thing that its flesh was already in and with this it can’t even walk sideways I feel like I’ve insulted the chef who is the
Chef okay right ladies come over please results yes St yes were they happy very happy yeah right give me here we go thank you okay we M the customers they’re happy to pay for their total of king crab out of 50 pleas 46 very good very very good well
Done what they say too much pasta and not enough crab what that’s ridic too much pasta a little disc well done okay the best so far next on the menu the Lan lasses go commando what and my very special shepherd’s pie proves a problem for Ricky jaas where’s
It going to end you and Jeremy Clarkson in a helicopter shooting your cousins it’s so [Applause] tasty welcome back to the f word time for the main course my Lambs now I’m doing them two ways first up Lego Lamb leg of lamb the king of all joints sweet tender very rich and absolutely delicious I must have for every dining table get your butcher to Bone it out and Butterfly it basically so you can tie it and roast it hot oven season olive oil mint use it in abundance it’s fresh
It’s fragrant smells amazing goat cheese the mint perfumes the inside of the lamb and the goat cheese just sort of makes the center nice and creamy garlic roll first of all a big loop around the lamp that keeps it all in shape get a nice length of string tie a knot right
At the very top underneath and leave it coming out here the secret of tying it this shape helps to cook it evenly and look Rosemary season gets the skin really nice and crispy olive oil stops the string from burning so therefore it won’t burst open when it’s in the
Oven and bingo roast 35 minutes rest carve mint [Applause] Vinegarette that has confirmed is definitely the king of Rose roast Leo Lamb with ghost cheese and mint done lamb nicely seasoned how long does this go in the oven pod they’re going to take pink about 35 to 40 minutes in yeah Special lamb as you it’s going to be
Rested for literally the same time as it’s cooked so it’s nice and pink not too it it can keep warm while it’s resting all that time absolutely definitely without a doubt so it’s really important now to get some color on the lamp yeah Okay okay good yeah that tonight I’m serving the lamb two ways you’ve seen the leg and this is the nation’s favorite shepherd’s pie a Great British classic Absol absolutely delicious mints vegetables potatoes easy olive oil minced lamb a little bit of color on the mints and it gets rid of that unwanted fat
Nothing worse than a greasy shepherd’s pie season Great Onion carrot garlic once the vegetables are grated in there they disintegrate and almost puree adding great flavor and that’s the secret behind a really good shepherd’s pie it’s all in the mins wor the sauce tomato puree red wine thy
Rosemary right now the red wines evaporated chicken stock in and cook it out for 3 or 4 minutes no more than that potatoes Mash seasoned egg yolks now the secret ingredient parmesan cheese be quite generous with the parmesan because that’s what gets it really nice and golden
Brown that now deserve to sit on top of my [Applause] Mins good old fashioned tip just to keep my mom happy for the top 18 to 20 minutes in the of [Applause] beautiful the crispy topping you can see what that deserve to be a great British classic shepherd’s pie done 46 out 50 for the starter try and
Get 50 out 50 for the lamb yes yeah tonight yeah is all about perfection yeah let’s do it out of respect for my Lambs yes yes Judith and Susan five portions away please yes let’s go carrots take out and leave on the top there yes yes Che okay let’s go ladies
Yeah yes chef nice let me put the Lamb on there keep the round bit up to the top nice car on right nice not too oily please ladies yeah service please yeah Table Six please yes ladies I’m getting very nervous you’re very quiet what’s the matter we
Concentrating sh really what I want to know is that our little birds told me that you go commando in the kitchen I was 21 years of age for God’s sake I don’t Commando anymore yeah but we just want you to know that we got with you what we can even
See Jesus Christ almighty it’s like a pair of curtains they’re not nickers are they oh my God Almighty oh now it’s time for tribe A forgotten food that I personally want to put back on the menu you bloody Hell it may look disgusting but I love a bit of tribee now it’s very cheap very nutritious but sadly these days you got to go through a hell of a lot of [ __ ] to get hold of it tripe is the lining of a cow’s stomach it has been voted Britain’s
Least favorite food which I think is a waste in my grandparents day everyone ate tribee and I’m determined to put it back on the map I love tribe ie GRE up with tribe has been in the family for years and having lived in France and Italy that’s all we used to eat for
Staff lunch was tribe I’ve managed to get my hands on some fresh cow’s guts and brought them to a trip dresser before I can cook with them Peter how are you bywise good to see you too my man hey now it’s down to you to turn into something some magical
P okay in 1900 there were 200 tripe dresses in Britain and your great great grandfather now there are only three and the smell I mean this place just stinks of tribe now what does the wife say when you get home uh she doesn’t she doesn’t she left she left all right [ __ ] Peter
And I boil my tripe to make it more tender look like You’ do it for years and then bleach it to improve the color it’s hard to believe that’s the same trip you in terms of you know how palatable it looks now Peter supplies Bob and Christine who run a traditional
Trip St at the market in Akon Stanley how are you buddy how are you good to see you well y Christine now you been selling for how long their customers love Tripes so much here they even eat it raw now how you going to cook that
What are you going to do with the tribe the husband eats it as it is as it is with salt and vinegar salt and vinegar and eats it cold eats it cold nice out on the green to find out who’s actually buying Bob’s tribe I’m going to
Give him a hand on the store thank you oh that’s nice and cozy in here now isn’t it morning Madam you like some T my D yes what are you going to do with it vinegar yeah bit of lettuce and tomato and Madam how how old are you
Please 91 on Saturday 91 on Saturday many happy returns Saturday morning morning sir what are you going to have this morning jelly on is that for tonight’s dinner no no abely that’s the soon to get home that’s just for a snack good man good man the fact that just
Been here for the last 5 minutes and watching you know the customers come and and pick up the tribe how old they are and in a way that you know there’s not enough youth eating it tribe ladies is there anyone out there under the age of 30 would like to buy some
Tripe Trip’s clearly got an image problem and many young people haven’t even tried it so with Bob’s help I’m setting up my very own Belly Deli to reinvent it as a really tasty dish I like that yeah you like that dud Golden’s gut Hut yes right and Bob what
We’re going to do is something sort of modern okay so pan Fri tribe yes with some lemon and parsley if we get it looking fresh and modern a lot more people going to eat it right okay first of all chop some onions and garlic and
Sweat so this is uh my way of doing tripe sort of fast yeah like fast food then toss the tripe in some flour and season with salt and can and pepper well just to make it a little bit more sort of um Tangy and fresh you use
Vinegar don’t you VIN I’m going to grate some lemon on there yeah and what that does it just makes it a little bit sort of lighter fresher and a little bit more zestier yeah and all I’m going to do now is fry it very very quickly in some sunflower oil okay
Right season with fresh parsley and a squeeze of lemon yeah now we’re ready who would like some tripe please anybody here in a hasn’t eaten tripe yes where are all the tripe virgins you here we go why haven’t you had Tri before my darling because it just doesn’t look
Very nice at all do you like it it’s really nice actually yes and it’s fried in the as well I think I might try it yeah good girl hey look at these new customers you’re getting you like it yes how old are you 18 that’s one one here
So we’ve gone from 19 to 18 this morning ni right guys come over how are we doing now this is a and Stanley’s what under 11s this dish here is full of protein how old are you six do you like the tripe yes fantastic it’s a load of
Bollocks that people don’t like tripe anymore because cooked in a modern way they love it look at this lot next time you’re out get down to your Butcher and get some Tri for dinner it’s delicious and healthy who would like some Tri girl now I know you don’t like fancy
Food enjoy the sheer pie absolutely wonderful I mean shepherd’s pie would be in um I think my top five so and that was that was lovely the mints for the shepherd’s pie was from the Lambs that had in my back Garden so hold on so though basically
You’re pets they weren’t pets you can’t fall into that habit of allowing them to become pets although they are very friendly to begin with but then you got to sort of distance yourself from them yeah but you say that where’s it going to end you and Jeremy Clarkson in a
Helicopter shooting your cousins what I kept distance from them I didn’t really know them growing up and they’re so tasty you’re so matcho aren’t you I know you’re so tough I’m glad you got your shirt on you always have to show a bit of that don’t you no no no it’s for the
Men of PS of women oh look he’s taking his shirt you walked to the restaurant the other week carrying a stack who do you think you are for hold on hold on hold on no but you enjoyed it didn’t you I did enjoy it obviously I’d rather know
That that animal had a wonderful life killed human mainly Gavin um escaped okay you’ve given it a name I know I know why would you do that what would see when you when you buy it in Tesco there’s not a name they don’t care this is Bob we killed Bob Gavin didn’t die
Charlotte unfortunately got eaten by we a wolf suspected pummer a wild cat or you know a humongous Fox where where do you live with these Pumas and humongous foxes no is it beckh and P no but this is serious who does a cooking at home I do not I don’t know
Ever no let me tell you why Gordon please I’m a genius and i’ I’ve got to save all those skills for other things okay I thought Stephen Merchant was a genius that c now you’re not just bloody brilliant of making people laugh you’re also bloody fantastic making money um the
DVDs the podcast fanimals have you ever been tempted or suede by doing an advert no I’m not tempted no I got offered a million pounds to do a gin advert in America when the office broke in America and my I said I know you don’t do
Adverts but I just run this by you and I went no I can’t cuz I just thought if I said yes I’d regret so I said no and he said they’ve come back with 2 million they thought I was haggling oh my god um I think it’s because you haven’t had the
Right product okay so I’ve got some items that I want you to have a look at and tell me how you would Market them in an advert okay first thing go on plock chocolate bar it’s a delicacy in Sweden um how aren’t foreigners funny so how
Would you advertise it how would you sit there and Munch if it’s a Swedish adver it would be a really weird one would it it would be something like you PL PL FL PL o it would be some that wouldn’t it what’s that one that that that sexy rabbit used to advertise C’s
Caramel no yeah yes T about that really sexy rabbit can we cut that I’ve never had sex with any rodent actually it’s a lore it’s not aent okay uh this one you like soups don’t you yeah yeah okay so a [ __ ] flavored bullion [ __ ] flavor excellent oh God
Slur it up the Great Taste Of [ __ ] okay finally to wash it all down it’s closer to Sweden it’s Denmark okay this would be Minge beer spunk a shot of spunk vodka I’m slightly squeamish to drink oh God the TR now the trouble that that’s very old spunk that’s that spunk that’s been
Hanging around for quite some time how would you promote um the Danish shot of spunk vodka that’s the best Funk I’ve ever tasted listen really good to see you yeah the good work thank you very much J myl big kiss good to see you I thought the lamb was excellent
Really nicely cooked very tender and I like the lemon zest on the top it was delicious the lamb but terrible Shame about the goats cheese in the middle of it but once you scraped it out wasn’t bad actually the lamb T tasted nice and tender which a sign that he hasn’t had
Any stress and had a good life right results this is quite special for me yes a lot of hard work months getting that ready yeah in terms of looking after them nursing them and doing all we can to improve that flavor yes JB right I thought you did a bloody good
Job yeah clearly the most talented Brigade we’ve had on so far however yeah they are the critics they’re your customers and the amount of customers that are happy to pay for the main course oh no damn Dam I 48 out of 50 well done well done well done that is
Not quite good it perfect there’s room for improvement JB just out just Why didn’t T pay um who was it to much too much meat and too much tomato in the P [ __ ] off at France will yes let’s go dessert next on the menu I let my fanny
Loose in the kitchen [ __ ] off out of my kitchen but only after you’ve done the washing off and 18 Stone of idiot takes me on in the recipe challenge I have Gordon Ramsey parties we all just sit around tell each other the [ __ ] [Applause] off welcome back to the f word now time
For me to take on 18 Stone of idiots Johnny are you ready yeah I’m ready nervous no not right what you cooking I’m cooking pizza pizza yeah very simple very rustic food of the peasants it’s bring him working class into these kitchens and giving them a taste of something substantial something real
Something that we can’t just drive past on Saturday night and watch people EA and go how do those people live perfect now what’s that the secret machine what is that uh this is my blood maker stroke door maker cuz it’s one thing that I do rely on I’m just going to simple Pizza
Fresh tomato sauce and then top with some really nice Bayon ham just put me flour in which is a very decent uh d0 Italian flour um what I’m going to do now is add the olive oil but I haven’t got a tablespoon measurer but it’s all
Right I’m going to do it by the crazy guy I am I’ve got me live yeast here because I don’t like the giant powdered stuff and you never get the right result with it and start it mixing you’re not actually making your own pizza D you’re putting it together the machine’s making
It for you no it’s not what for it is it bollock it’s cheating [ __ ] I know it work for you you can’t speak to me like this Johnny Be Good I am being good I’m going to bring water up the boil put my yeast in oh look it be a machine it’s
The work of the devil whisking the yeast that activates it touch of olive oil in there Touch of salt absolutely crucial from there flour into with a normal food processor so what what you use in N Garden is it a machine uh this is this
Is is a machine is it a machine it’s a in does it in hey it’s nauy pants what are you doing with the tomato sauce uh tomato sauce is just uh it’s just me Tomatoes uh salt tiny bit of sugar oregano and um some fresh Basel so Johnny’s making a very simple tomato
Sauce out of tin Tomatoes I’ve just got some schots and garlic and some Basel here fry off cherry tomatoes a few sundried tomatoes so it becomes a really nice dry tomato sauce KN this together Right Do’s needed put that in right that goes in should double in size we knock it back and roll it out nice and thin right how you doing my man going to make the pizza in three different sections so I’m going to have one with um me Capers and me uh
An chies then I’m going to make a ggens all one in the middle just for just for the veggies and then on the other end I’m sounds like four seasons but you’re using three seasons yeah yeah I’m I’m look I’m just spreading me options out Anna what is the most outrageous thing
You ever done on stage I did do a [ __ ] but he deserved it on stage yeah I was in Liverpool the guy come along to review it and I went oh are you are you sort of the comedy review and he went no what did you do went I normally come for pet
Shows what the [ __ ] are you doing here so I had somebody walk me around as if I was a dog and show you’re on all fors yeah pop and then I I just slip your pants down a way and and just squeeze but then we had to tell them did you
Want your ass I told him it was a problem I was with me technician pretended it wasn’t real [ __ ] and it’s not even real if you lose a challenge tonight yeah don’t [ __ ] on me okay no no I Won’t so this is my D I’m just going to roll it out slacking it off a little bit and just sort of get it really nice and pliable and then roll it nice and thinly you’re using a rolling pin I am using a rolling pin you big girl so tomato on
First a nice thin layer of tomato sauce on there what kind of mozzarella are you using the big ones or the little baby ones uh the big ones you copy me again yeah I just live you know what I mean to follow you I could get clothes in your
Style I would that’s nice ien Ramsey parties we all just sit around tell each other [ __ ] off and then finish with some really nice Palmer ham right ready yeah and it goes there you go the three seasons that you’ve been teing the piss out of looks like [ __ ] school dinners right
[ __ ] doesn’t cut up looks nice right so now we’ve got that we’ve got H um obviously all is all over uh just Hammer mushroom and then there we’ve got the gorgona and then we’ve got the seafood yes people have a choice yeah in this world oh right good out oven yeah and it
Goes right Johnny they’re in the oven now yes yeah 10 minutes go and have a point come back and you lose no I’m going to stay and observe because you’re paranoid no I’m I might need to put a little foil on if the seems my base is a
Little bit thicker than yours and handmade and made with passion I might have to cover the top cuz I don’t want the top to overcut before the Bas has got nice and crispy you mean you might have to get a takeaway no it means I
Might have to do a [ __ ] on yours while it’s in now it’s time for dessert a delicious hot chocolate sule made by rinda who last week I chose to be my new Fanny rinda well done good to see you and you’re now going to make the most amazing hot chocolate Soule teachs the
Nation yeah please don’t [ __ ] it up thank you so I’m going to show you how to make the most indulgent decadent hot chocolate Soule take 200 M of milk add 20 G of corn flour when it’s in a really y spy texture you know it’s kind of ready and
There you go it’s nicely thickening up chop the chocolate don’t skimp on it it needs to be about 60 to 70% cocoa content cuz you need to taste the chocolate in This add four egg yolks it’s really important that the chocolate is a little bit cooler otherwise what you get is this horrible scramble from the eggs my mother used to say a clear work surface is a clear mind Gordon’s got all the dishes to do I hope he’s a good wash
Wer whisk the egg whites slowly add 150 GRS of castor sugar now remember this is what’s breathing the life into your chocolate mix so you don’t want to overwork the mixture you don’t want to get too enthusiastic more washing for Gordon really voluptuous you can see it
Almost heaving it’s really sexy butter a ramkin and dust with grated Chocolate clean the rim otherwise your sule won’t rise so just leave it alone for 6 minutes do whatever you want have sex read a newspaper I don’t know what you do in your 6 minutes the perfect chocolate Soule done lovely lovely nice nice nice I’m dying to get in there
That m is it good that absolutely delicious fantastic well done well Gordon I’ve got one thing to say to you yes [ __ ] off out of my kitchen but only after you’ve done the washing up you’re telling me to [ __ ] off out my own kitchen ravinda you’re like Susan you
Still haven’t got a boyfriend why oh well what can I say too many isn’t it you have Tock it’s difficult to commit to one person as well I F what about you why you say you find it difficult to commit to one person why did you guys go
Out on a double dat you and Susan find us fix us up with some nice uh stutters and nice little short ass Frenchman like JB look over there JB is the most Charming Man over here JB’s what yes thank you he’s the most Charming Man these stinks of garlic look at him
Lovely that’s amazing wrist action you got there trust me expected it over the years seriously rind as they come out you serve the table go straight to Johnny vas yes be careful Johnny Vegas doesn’t eat you okay be very careful hands on here good girl off you go hey Johnny
Enjoy than it is worth waiting for I promise you it’s lovely marry me now it’s time for janry reporter to sink her teeth into Bernard Matthews now as you all know I’m a little bit of a food snob and this kind of thing isn’t something I’d normally
Eat frankly I’m surprised it’s still on the shelves cheery norfor farmer Bernard Matthews has had the smile wiped off his face by three huge food scandals first came turkey Twizzlers bursting with so much saturated fats that many schools dropped them like a stone next came these horrifying images employees
Playing B ball with live turkeys and then just as he thought it couldn’t get any worse one of his Farms was hit by bird flu during the outbreak it emerged that Bernard Matthews that Great British food institution actually uses large amounts of meat from Hungary but does he
Tell you that on the packet like hell Bernard Matthews dinosaurs don’t know where it’s come from dinosaurs could have come from out of space Bernard Matthew jetas where have they flown in from Bernard Matthews is in the middle of a massive rebranding exercise but being clear and honest about the country of
Origin is much more important than flashy logos or spin so it says turkey breast meat is often referred to as a superfood because it’s naturally low in fat and cholesterol but where does it come from Bernard of the 21 packets I checked only two gave the country of
Origin of the meat you might think that Bernard’s only doing what every other turkey producer does but you’d be wrong take a look at this lock Sainsbury’s fresh British turkey this it tells you product of Hungary clearly marked what’s Bernard’s problem old burnard’s labeling isn’t illegal but it is potentially
Misleading I think he’s trading on his image as a norfol farmer to make his customers think all his turkey is English but how does he do it simple it’s all about the packaging all you have to do is make your product look English and not give any information
About where the meat comes from I’m going to make a turkey pie using meat from Brazil Poland and Hungary and see if I can convince people it’s actually English uh so I’ve made the filling for my pie now I’m going to put the pastry
On it uh and pop it in the oven here is my packaging turkey pie produced in England this is perfectly legal now all I’ve got to do is see if I can flog them hi there hello can I persuade you to taste some of my uh turkey pie it’s
Lely if I told you that the meat in that turkey pie comes from Hungary Poland and Brazil yeah I’m not going to catch nothing am I the the box is very misleading when you look at that box where do you think the the meat and that pie comes from I
Would think it comes from England but if I put this box on sale and it said meat from Poland Hungary and Brazil would you buy it more than likely not where do you think it comes from Turkey I think we consumers have a right to know where our meat comes from one
Person who agrees is David Clark from Red Tractor the UK’s leading independent food Assurance scheme if there’s a r tractor on a piece of meat you can be 100% sure it’s British and carefully reared do you think it’s important that when people buy food they know exactly
Where it’s come from absolutely I mean that’s why we have a clear statement of country of origin within the logo therefore the consumer cannot be confused I think what I’m going to do is uh go to Mr Matthews and ask him why you won’t sign up for to your red tractor
Scheme I I think that’s a good idea I wrote to Bernard Matthews explaining my concerns asking him why he doesn’t label where his meat comes from and demanding that he signs up to the Red Tractor scheme 2 weeks later here I am in central London I’ve been summoned to
Meet Bernard Matthews chief executive hi hi nice to meet you Bernard doesn’t get out much these days so he sent his right-and Man to answer me I have threatened to serve Bernard Matthews with a food asbo and you’ll be my second one after Prince Char one now B I’ve got
A whole bag of packaging here but I’m looking for where this turkey comes from we’ve um not realized uh it’s that important in fact we would welcome all of the origin’s meat to come on because we’ll find that we still have vast majority of our stuff comes from the UK
But hang on a minute bar on the 5th of February burnard Matthews company said all our turkeys are British all our turkey eggs uh come from our Hattery and from our laying flocks which are ours in Norfolk yeah so all our turkeys are now those eggs may go to Hungary to be born
But to be reared but the vast majority of all of our turkeys are in Norfolk and and R nor when you say all our turkeys are British does that mean that the ones are in Hungary their mom and dads are British uh certainly yeah but they’re living in Hungary yeah so they’re
Hungarian turkeys the vast majority of our products come from the UK and we’re going to very clearly signpost those products that are British and what we’re doing on the back is we’re going to take a lead uh on it and describe when products are British it’ll be very
Clearly stated it’s British and we’ve got agreement from Red Tractor so we can use that you are going to put the Red Tractor sign starting when it will be by the beginning of September so when it says under burn Matthews you it’s going to be in here yeah made from Turkey from
Our own Farms or from wherever else so that’s promise Yeah by September the 1st we’ll get them on okay it’s a deal all hello Janet so gorgeous nice to see you my Dy you look great thank you I dressed up carriages first of all congratulations yeah yeah I do feel a
Real sense of achievement you made Bernard Matthews Mr beautiful and E his words well done I think they were scared of us that’s a brilliant thing and what they agreed to do what exactly amazing thing they’re going to sign up to the redfactor schemee so all the meat that
They use that is bread on farms in the UK is going to have the red tractor and meat that comes from abroad is going to have the country of origin clearly labeled on the packet bloody good news so they’re going to be far more honest which is ftic fantastic how is he going
To stick to what’s he do pro he promised me that by September this year they will change their labeling on their packaging and if he doesn’t stick to it what are you going to do to go out to nor deep fries turkey Twizzler I will I go out there bloody
Well done I think he scared more of you as opposed to the asbo you’re not scared of me are you g beautiful I’m not scared of you at all my jet take lipstick next on the menu will heavyweight Johnny Vegas knock me out in the resby challenge look at the Choice
Look at the clares looks nice B&B Bogner reges and will the girls do lers your proud how do you think we did 50 I hope so you know that I really do welcome back to the airp now time to find out who is the mission style chef
And who is the Michelin Man are you ready yes I am ready let’s go big boy and I’m confident what are you finishing it with a bit of olive oil okay oh me chies wa for go I want the fresh ones from the bottom look at that hey looks
Nice here’s my baby coming out holy mackerel look at that baby little bit basle on the top I think your screams Michelin mine screams family I think your screams Cheese Shop you know if I do wi It Go on it’s late night phone calls for the rest of your
Life hey J that to did that pizza Johnny [ __ ] off look at that look at that now then now then look at the Choice look at the that clares looks nice B and B Bogner reges right all right then oh I like that sound that crispy sound just
To even it up right hey that looks nice right listen yeah you see I have just to pause the I know I know I know but you’ve got three seasons bit of pizza yeah it’s based on French architecture I know that taste wise that’ll be phenomenal
I know I know that you know that’s that’s why you earn money from it that’s why I’m 18 Stone right JB yes entertainer right off you go y the three season by Johnny and clarity’s pizza by by me J brought two coughs when you put his down money’s exchanged ends
In you know the brown envelope in the [Applause] garage one and number two going this one first yeah yeah it’s crispy I like sun dried tomatoes real tomato Kake not too much cheese either it’s Square isn’t it very different shap square and a much thicker B yeah cheesier for sure it’s actually a
Crunchier than the other one okay big boy I hope you’re not going to make a monkey on me Johnny B Johnny Johny come on come on good to uh no very close very very close uh it’s a 3 to2 it’s a 3 to2 yeah so it’s very close come on
Yeah you’re looking at me which is telling me that you’re going to say him if you’re trying to tell me what you Char your best it’s you Gordon Johny boy get in there well done [ __ ] for that 32 so it was close I had money on myself hey you’re going to hold your
Head high my man that was [ __ ] delicious cheesy but delicious a yeah whatever do me a favor well take your pizza and [ __ ] never dark never darken this restaurant again with me and don’t [ __ ] on the kitchen floor on the way out no no I’ll save that for the
Restaurant How You Well Done big boy now for all your animal lovers out there yes yes yes right [ __ ] it I’m going to open the pizza Here last two careful now last two tables and and I’ll dust you put them on yes here we go and away okay we got two sixes thank you hey JB yes thanks for doing your job yeah you want to come yeah I know in France they only want to
Work [ __ ] 32 hours a week but thanks so much for coming yeah excellent Susan are you giving JB the ey are you trying to no we him up no cuz we like John whatever called John the bapti that’s right now it’s called John Baptist good
Girl thank you my we told him that you told us he was SC [Applause] you’re as discreet as [ __ ] Johnny vas definitely definitely not gay chocolate sow was perfect absolutely amazing texture just really nice and gooey and chocolate in the middle and the um Min Cho ship ice cream was a kind
Of a throwback to my childhood so like quite sort of retro little touch on the side so it was lovely I thought the dessert was delicious and definitely worth £5 really beastful melt in the mouth really really lovely actually give me the results please now
Ladies Justin how do you think we did 50 50 yes yeah I hope so you know that I really do we work hard we did some of them went out a little bit lopsided however the flavor was fantastic for dessert oh [ __ ] 50 out 50 that is perfection well done 5050 for dessert bloody good news now we do me a favor no no hold hold on hold on not f word hold on hold on come with me to the dining room let’s go Al let’s go okay uh ladies and gentlemen your chess for this
Evening yes the L lasses hey [Applause] get in there right go say hello go say hello go say hello get in there fword Series 3 done welcome to the F-word tonight the F stands for Fanny for the last n weeks I’ve searched the country to find the next Banny CRCT
Tonight I fill the restaurant with a 50 finalist on the menu P asparagus petta and goat cheese for tataa honey roast duck with green beans and baked Alaska plus I go hunting for Britain’s ugliest fish [ __ ] like the size of it God they’re so strong cat da pops her
Cork and 4x Army boys go into battle to win the right to cook up my m restaurant Clares I love my mother and I love my dad have all never had here the cuz my mother and my dad I love my mother and I love my dad want to have all [Applause] never [Applause] J put them on eyes to celebrate tonight yes let’s go on with a
Starter F me my ears gone good evening for ex army officers you’re all used to pressure you served in Iraq yeah clearly you’re all very used to giving out orders yeah tonight there’s only going to be one person giving out orders that’s me yes you’ve got four ladies
Standing in between you and the final at clares yeah you should really do better than that yes yeah uh Ed what’s on the menu what’s on the menu we’ve got sum of fataa Gordon we’ve got Rose duck breast with uh fine green beans and S potatoes and we’ve got uh baked Alaska wonderful
Thanks um now perfect [ __ ] Pata I’m going to do one with you now get the pan hot bacon in first yeah what’s next onions onions onions that’s right asparagas in yeah pe’s in egg mix at the bottom the secret is have it a little bit running the center but not liquid
Yes ghost cheese over asparagus tips under the grill bang in the idea of that is to melt all that ghost Cheese look and it’s a really nice sort of creamy textured fata yeah okay first table’s on okay so Chris and Charlie yes on order four covers table five four P asparagus
Petta fata Four duck four Baked Alaska yes excellent well done tonight’s Brigade is Ed Charlie and and Chris the Army boys let’s go guys please we’ve known each other for about 5 years we’ve all served in various parts of the world we’ve been in some pretty tough times together very
Passionate about eating food I really like my food tuna steak monk fish cut yourself yet no not yet prob I think we got a really good chance of uh beating the lasses we will beat the competition I think we can definitely beat them if we don’t I think we might as well go
Into hiding and we’re going to win it um and we’re going to go clar I know they’re fussy out there so be careful yes make sure you get some really nice color on those L that’s done to more salad please J just a little bit over there they’re very nice
Good Chris now would you pay for that I would certainly pay for that good they’re very nice t five go please well Done I saw bits of BL in there now what is all that in there more four more no you’re real bright guys look you know them what we’re not going to serve that okay we can’t hide it under the old under the no we can’t
Hide [ __ ] all come on all the same size start again [ __ ] it’s not just the meat from my Lambs that I’m going to be using in the restaurant it’s hard to believe they’re going in a week I’ve been looking after my sheep for 3 months since they were
Just 6 weeks old it’s amazing how friendly they’ve become isn’t it no when we first got them they were like running away from the fence I now have to turn my thoughts to why I kept the Lambs in the first place to serve them in my restaurant and today we’re going to
Weigh them okay I want to make sure that we’ve got sufficient meat on there yeah right here we go should we wait Daddy yeah yeah no chance yeah right listen listen seriously if you want any pocket money open the bloody door guys Matilda Jack come on buddy you don’t do that to
Your best mate Jack Jack I’ll be serving my Lambs to 50 pain diners they’ve been bulken up on grass and hard feed if they weigh anything above 30 kilos it means it’s all been worth itd I know I’m holding Gavin I’ve just got my knees caked in [ __ ] there you go
Okay what does Gavin weigh 35 kilos that’s great yeah gav AC cross Welsh 50% and 50% Chet so the 100% Chet always going to be a lot bulkier that’s a great wait for Gavin yes fantastic that was easy wasn’t it right one more task yes do you see
All the poo poo everywhere I need a bucket full of poo guess what we going to make paper how do you know he me it’s a secret that’s a big one is it 100% poo a yeah smell right we’re going to meet a poo man hi guys hello please please I don’t
Want to waste anything so we’re going to make quality paper out of my Lamb’s poo then I’ll print the resturant menus on it the night my Lambs are dished up what’s the first stage well the first thing we’ve got to do obviously is sterilize this the last thing we want to
Be doing is handling something that might have any pathogens in it no germs we need to extract the fibers from the Poo to make the paper right on she goes sterilized I’ve never ever cooked poo before are you okay with that in the washing machine l to ask you I make no
No no but I mean just make sure my socks aren in there wash okay here we go Examine Blitz pour spread lift rest throw payback Johny got stop we’re making paper Okay concentrate peel L mangle come on Lily pie come on L sheep poo paper done nice now that’s good enough for the menus at claries isn’t it um it was very fresh it was very light the vegetables were perfectly
Cooked above all it was J I’m speaking French you understand right results that’s the target to beat yes yep okay the number of fannies that are prepared to pay for the starters yep 33 out of 50 ouch that is exactly the same number as the Lage your lasses
So you’re on target You’ve Been Under Pressure before yeah now you’re under even more pressure yeah get it to the duck yeah okay let’s go main course next on the menu I give cat deia a mouthful look you put weight on but I mean I’m not calling you fat has your
Wife taught you nothing and how to look good naked got one gives me some fashion advice what is going on with those [ __ ] Cardigans D you don’t like my Cardigans they’re bonfire food welcome back to the f word time for the main course Duck normally burnt to Cinder or stuffed inside a pancake roll what a waste it’s nice and light and gy absolutely delicious score season five spice quite generous with a five spice this makes the duck really aromatic dry pan fat side down push it down in the pan as that fat starts releasing itself
From duck breast get a pan now save that fat that’s duck fat delicious for sauteed potatoes honey soy sauce for me the most important thing now is the duck stays nice and pink absolutely Stunning green beans perfect ACC compliment with duck into boiling water literally 1 and 1/2 minutes hazelnuts these are dried roasted hazelnuts more intense flavor season Crush beans nice and crunchy when the beans are warm they take on the vinegarette olive oil hazelnut oil Cherry vinegar delicious slice
Lovely honey roast up with hazel Lut green bean salad done [ __ ] delicious nice and hot yes it’s so easy there’s three things on here duck beans potatoes couple of spoonfuls Adam that’s it garlic in there cook with noise yes yeah how many you got there Ed four four good that’s
Houseful good beans please yeah the beans table eight please yes beans are that beans potatoes beans or potatoes one of them fun yet they’re not cooked they now taste them then come on taste them going to need don’t throw them away just put them back in the water very
Very quickly Adam there’s crunchy and there’s raw yeah oh F handful of beans on there okay good right duck on Chris come here are you happy with them yeah some of the cuts a bit dodged but I’ll show you again when just slice it okay we use a carving
Knife yeah yeah that knif was just wasn’t show enough okay go please table five yes wow right Adam I want the [ __ ] beans please yes yes sir they still not cook come on you got no [ __ ] water in there yeah always keep that pan of water boiling out on there yes yes [ __ ]
Hell surely you can cook a bean my man on [ __ ] right let’s go he it’ be really nice you can serve your food yes r stand there pissing your [ __ ] nickers let’s go service please sorry to keep you waiting sorry to cook beans four [ __ ] times nothing to
Laugh about yes table a let’s go congal they’re sustainable and delicious but sadly no one wants to eat them because they’re so [ __ ] ugly congal are monstrous creatures they can grow up to 10t long and can weigh up to 250 thousands of them live in the sea
Around Britain and it’s a waste not to eat them I’ve come to exmouth to meet Dave Curley who’s one of the few people I could find who fishes for congas and he sells it in his fish and chip Shack when last time you got your haircut ah weeks
Ago right huh Jan Jan huh these things are huge aren’t they I mean you know completely different to a freshw reel related to the same family but they’re I mean they’re humongous yeah yeah I’ve seen1 100 lb I’ve seen it yeah congre often live inside recks so we’re
Heading out to sea to fish over one the fascinating thing about congre you know they look [ __ ] ugly they are ugly looking but you cut through that flesh and it’s white gold it’s is lovely and it’s just hasn’t quite got the flavor of C but you’re going to prove me wrong with that
Today we’ll be catching the Congers with rods which is going to be a real challenge as they’re very difficult to fish there going to be a slow tug tug tug tug and then bang bang and when you know it’s on it’s on when they’re on they’re they’re
Verocious aren’t they ah it’s nonstop it is actually physically very tiring to get one up to the surface congas are tricky to catch because they live within the wreck they come out to take the bait and then niit back into hiding got something on yeah oh he got something on
There damn fucker’s gone just come off there damn I load up my hook with more bait and try again oh God they’re fighting yeah this is definitely coner on here Gordon is it oh he’s gone oh [ __ ] no why are they coming off so [ __ ] frequently it’s frustrating but exciting at the same
Time he’s on Jesus Christ they’re so strong oh there he Is fantastic [ __ ] what size is that that’s casserole size I call it bloody hell that’s not bad is it not bad at all no God they’re so strong [ __ ] we’ll uh go absolutely right now yeah I think if you just jum them straight across there these buggers can
Really bite so the quickest and most humane way to kill them is to sever their spinal cord that’s it that’s it Jesus Christ you got it I think you got him bully Bay is one of my favorite french fish dishes but I want to create a British version using
Conga to show Dave and his customers that this eel can be even more delicious so we going to season it first okay and start the process of a congal bull Bay yeah very similar to a classic French bully Bay but no gry mullet no monk fish
No pors no lster just just con pure coner olive oil then add a little black pepper salt and saffron oil in skinside down into the pan and this one we’re going to start getting the vegetables going nice hot pan add some olive oil fennel carrots celery and star Andes crush a whole
Garlic add a handful of shalots and lastly K and pepper that put a little bit of heat inside the soup and really helps the season give that little stir for me please so we can take that out we got the color there that’s what we wanted on
There fish in but it smells amazing lovely good L the f a little bit of perno don’t sit down set fast as sh woo [ __ ] turn off the alcohol and uh mixing the vegetables yeah and the fish evenly add a splash of wine fish stock potatoes fresh tomatoes Basel and
Parsley to finish the dish cook it out for 20 minutes and then we’re going to blend it that’s great okay okay buddy should we go yes look at them all fish and chips is off the menu yes can we yeah please Cong Real that’s good absolutely delicious we love Conga it’s so frustrating that we do not eat enough conil so please start buying it because in there they clearly loved it it may be ugly but it’s [ __ ] delicious thank you very much K how are you Don I’m good how are you doing nice
To see nice to see you to see you nice absolutely fabulous thank you and enjoying dinner I am you know so far yeah it’s all good very good how long you in la la uh I’ve been out there for just under a year so I’ve um bought a
House out there foodwise and what’s the like out there what you what are you eating on you know what I pretty much eat anything and you look well look you put weight on since the last time I saw you maybe I have in a nice weight no not
In has your wife taught you nothing no no no but I mean I’m not calling you fat or anything I you look great you look great with a little bit of weight on it’s fantastic I you know what I’m very lucky that I kind of don’t have to worry
About it too much but they are obsessed with food out there yeah yeah but no one seems to drink which is terrible I know I glass I order a glass of wine at lunch and it’s like check out the alcohol I know check out the Brit in the corner
That’s a that’s a second sip of wine well you still drink don’t you yeah of course favorite drink ooh well for me it’s always champagne lovely best friend well no it’s just for me there’s happiness in every bubble you know it’s one of there’s a lot of bubbles in the
Last champagne exactly as a country now we’re the second largest drinkers of champagne outside France you are a font of information it’s all up there now uh JB y right little challenge now yes um I’ve got a series of Champagnes and I want you to taste them all and see if you can
Spot the difference between them this is not a a test this is a really nice way of sort of you know understanding champagne better have a little taste M second One I I I prefer that one cuz it’s actually a bit more kind of bubbly and sparkly uh absolutely spot on because that is expensive one t you the one you liked and that’s a cheap sparkling wine yet at $4.99 you spotted it straight away you know did I yeah because the
Most exciting thing about champagne it’s got those tiny bubbles that rise from the base of the glass all the way up constantly and sparkling wine has a lot lot bigger Bubbles and they disperse quicker literally yeah well done fantastic so this is a vintage champagne and a non-vintage champagne oh God okay
You tell the difference little bit more difficult and obviously in terms of age um a completely different set on gra um a look at that one I’m going to be pissed that one uh-huh okay well done you’re right they’re both lovely absolutely extraordinary vintage and non-vintage now the big difference
Between vintage and non vintage champagne is that vintage champagne is a lot stronger and richer in flavor complexity comes with age right number three is quite interesting this one okay yes now they’re both champagne one’s a cheap brand and one’s an expensive brand right it’s really important not just to
Focus on label and buy the Label what do you think I definitely prefer that one and why’ you prefer this one because it’s lighter and are you going to call me cheap now so you preferred the cheap one I did prefer the cheap one said do I the own Brands produced by the supermarkets often come
Out on top in competitive wine tastings it’s nice now the secret of opening champagne is making sure is open just with a little sort of whsp at the end okay not a no no no I like the pop the thing that signifies woohoo and just a small twist nice
Slowly and then just come to the end and just tilt the cork there nice right I’m going to show you a really exciting way of opening a bottle of champagne yes okay yes yes right I’m cat nice to meet you hello this man is an expert an amazing expert
In um opening wise a completely different way yes indeed indeed it’s excited so they started opening champagne like this in Wars with a great time yes the Cav the Cavalry was sort of waiting to go into battle take a bottle out of the saddle bag and chop away if
The French soldiers can do it I’m sure we can here in the f word right ready lay the saber on there never take it off the glass slide it straight up and away it flies slowly or fast quickly like that quickly like that yeah off 3 two
One ding ding ding dong ding ding I think you have to have a go there we go Sunday lunch will never be the same here we go right right yes oh so you lay the sword flat on there and way you just you just go up there with one two three and
Bang away you go am I doing it to complete your M off we go one two three yeah I got so much fun well done well done well done there’s more there’s more there’s more there’s more it’s like Jim or F your cor and we have to say to you
In the name of Noah father of the vine of St Vincent the pain St I hereby declare that you are a sa of the confu Sabor fantastic thank you so much what you go down one KN for oh you have to thank you so much well done buddy see nice to see
You going back the kitchen take care my Dy good to see you bye uh by the way do you want your weapon back no I’m left here on my own with bottles of champagne and a sword meat was delicious really well cooked um quite liking the little
Hazelnuts on the beans was a bit of a interesting touch I’d say the duck was extremely well cooked in the sense that it’s nice and tender still holding itself together and it tastes great right guys results of the main courses okay good right Chris how do you think
You did I think we did well actually I think we had a few hiccups but slow but good yeah yeah okay JB results 26 out of 5050 guys disappointing that’s not so good feedback from the customer what did they say yeah so a bit slow and the grey
Beans a bit oily that was a vinegarette it wasn’t oily greasy it was like a really nice hazelnut vinegarette wom Hearts please tough customers out there tonight you’re more capable of get 50 out of 50 for the dessert yeah don’t be down and out come
Back next on the menu got one laser on a plate for me in the recipe challenge are you flirting with me Absol [ __ ] lutely I cook up the ultimate dinner party in under 30 minutes where is that [ __ ] gate in the bin in the bin it’s and finally after waiting through
Hundreds of audition tapes I’ve invited 50 female Cooks to the restaurant tasted their dishes and soon I’ll be choosing my favorites three of you are going to show me who really is the best of the best welcome back to the F-word time to find out who’s got amazing taste and a
Sense of style in the kitchen and who has got onean ready you you bet your ass I’m ready no dear so my cook off with Gordon I am doing a family recipe which is a prawn and Chinese mushroom one ton in a soup noodle and it’s all about the
Prep with Chinese food it’s not about the cooking time so Go’s doing a wanton soup and I’m doing something very similar but I’m going to do a bit of a sort of wanton soup but mix with a little bit of sort of hot and sour and
Then make some nice W Tong but with some fresh scallops in there so we can just sort of glamorize it a little bit can I just say you’ve got bloody good knife skills there you spend a lot of time in the kitchen yes you know what my dad has
Been in catering all of his life and he’s actually got a fish and chip shop in leester now but I was brought up in the kitchens you I was brought up in the restaurant and from a very early age dad was teaching us you know how to cook and
How to look after the restaurant so K’s a massive part of my life really I have to say that’s fantastic you have a fascinating background with food because when you’re younger you used to be a little bit pory which I find hard to believe no but no hold on but I was a
Chunky monkey once I got up to just Stone right okay 6 years ago just constantly eating not looking after myself and yeah I find it hard to believe cuz you’re you know you look good all my family are big still and you know and I was and I I was 21 stone at
My biggest weight and I was a big yeah I was a big guy you know I never had a really bad relationship with food no it’s just that we were surrounded by it and the Chinese culture is anything you do whether it’s a celebration a commiseration doesn’t matter what you’re
Doing eat you eat alongside it so that I mean that was that was it really I’m going to make the stop first these are uh praw heads we’re sweating off for some garlic some chili Ginger lemongrass once I’ve made the stock I’m going to put the prawns back inside and poach the
Prawns inside the stock finish with the coriander noodles spring onions and some little beautiful B Choy got and what’s in the pot now I’m going to make a stock out of the praw heads and the Tails uhhuh because that’s what’s going to make most of the soup watching you work
In a kitchen it’s almost like watching a chef you know that oh really yeah but you know oh I like that you’re attentive you’re taking the [ __ ] out of the oh my God you know what I was just thinking when you were talking then this is the
Rankest job I would much rather be putting naked women on buildings than doing this I’m telling you you do have the most amazing job you are the luckiest man in the world I love my job I love clothes I love the idea of image you know and it’s about making people
Feel good not changing them whatsoever not rocket science really is it it must be a huge turn on well you know what not really my bag I have to be honest have you ever been sort of tempted to sort of change direction no do you know what I I love penises I mean
I can’t I’m not going to lie to you now I do you know I’m I am gay I’m very very happy about it I’m out to my family which is you know the biggest part of my life more than anything else you know me liking guys has got absolutely nothing
To do with my job whatsoever you know you think they feel safer because well of course they do because I’m not trying to hump them and I’m there’s no you know there’s no competition with them at all it’s you know we we do our job and and
And that’s that’s pretty much it isn’t it okay I’ve got some ginger in there a little bit of garlic fresh scallop coriander and a little bit of lime juice I’m just going to bind that together lightly season it and put it in between the wons and then poach them off
So what I’ve got so far then little bit behind but it’s fine I’m still going to win I have the uh filling for my one tons which is basically the mashed up prawns bamboo shoots water chestnuts and the Chinese mushrooms which is the very very good quality Chinese mushrooms you
Know what I have to say you are one of the gentlest nicest men I’ve ever met in my entire life really are thank you are you flirting with me Absol [ __ ] lutely I hear that you’ve got a little fetish didn’t you uh hello what is going on with those [ __ ] Cardigans Gord
They are absolutely heus come just say you’re swearing more than me you don’t like my terrible I I swear to God I don’t care I don’t care honestly they’re not they’re bonfire food I’ll dump The Cardigans okay you know image and clothing it’s got to be representative
Of who you are as a person right and the character that you give off with your clothing um to me it’s a bit slony bit slony I a counsel State go so did I so did I I’ve got a restant in SL square but I I’m not sloy trust me but no but
The thing is you give off that impression that’s what it looks like from a yeah from un locker and you know what you’d have a lot more knickers in the post if I sort it out your ward you’re just trying to distract me now so you can win you know that without bling
You’re done in case you lose what you wearing now let me see let me see oh no I just got Chef trousers on Chef exactly see how much money have you got when you’re wearing Chef trousers cuz I’m a so just to make sure we maximizing
Flavor in this stock with these um heads of the prawns I’m going to crush them now cuz inside that head is where all the flavor is do you know about noodles uh I love noodles these are just egg one ton noodles but the consistency is just absolutely amazing oh this is really
Hard talking and cing at the same time [ __ ] hell got migraine um right they’ve both got to Simon now for what 10 15 minutes yeah yes uh we come back and then you lose what [ __ ] ever now it’s time for Dessert baked Alaska absolute classic every’s heard of it but no one knows exactly what’s inside basically layers of sponge ice cream and then wrapped in merang but a special mer Italian mer sugar water bring that up to the boil and cook it out for 3 minutes egg whites lemon that strengthens the egg
White for the sugar half of the sugar in pause for 10 seconds and the other half in classic Italian merang look beautiful Ginger sponge lovely [Applause] cut Ras Braes raspel cure be quite generous with that ice Cream and then your second sponge push that down now merang into the bag Pipe straight into the freezer 10 minutes to get nice and [Applause] Solid cognac from bade in front of your very own eyes bait Alaska done bait Alaska in the dining room yeah come back with 50 out of 50 let’s go yes up right guys let’s go up here we go we’ve got these two coming up first well I’m pretty excited too
Coming thank you very much guys I hope you enjoy it sorry you didn’t get Cris guys but I will send them over I hope you’re not wearing too much hairspray you see the Flames oh my God it’s bit hard in the light but they’re there I
Promise that’s where he was there we go we got a g here thank you girls perfect however fast your life is there’s always time for good homemade food dinner parties can be hell the pressure to perform well in the kitchen means menus are often safe or stuck in a Time
Warp I tend to cook um a three course meal um starts off with prawn cocktail spaghetti bolnet and then we tend to have a frozen dessert chocolate gate to cook a nice meal and be adventurous you need to have time to be able to do that
And at the moment I just don’t have the time to do that Carol’s been cooking like this for 13 years I’m here to show a dinner party menu that can be done in under 30 minutes dinner parties a [ __ ] Chef’s nightmare that looks like cat food in
There what is that no this is spaghetti bolog andise run me through the spag Bowl spag Bowl pasta spaghetti mints tomato run me through your bolog sauce that is my bolog sauce what you mean that’s it the tin the jar sauce onions vegetabl garlic no onions vegetables garlic no straight onto the
Spaghetti 13 years Carol 3 months fine but 13 years cooking the same old [ __ ] that let’s start off with that in there go in there yeah we’re going to do three dishes salmon chicken and a cheesecake that can be done easily whilst you get ready and lay the table at the same time
Right first of all we’re going to do the salmon it’s on my menu at the restaurant perfect for summer very very light and as a ladies did so we’ll get the marinade done first uh spring onions while you’re doing that I’ll chop the chili and the nice thing about this
It can vary you know that you can put chopped ginger in there as you get a little bit more adventurous I’d like to think over the next 13 years that’s exactly what you’re going to do add finely chopped coriander the juice of one lemon olive oil sesame oil
And soy sauce now that is the most difficult part done trust right and it’s quicker to do that than it is make a por [ __ ] job Don’t dress the salmon with the marinade yet put it in the fridge and start the main course chicken a simple dish with chicken creeme fresh and capers always go to the outside of the pan first that is really nice and hot okay that’s it so everything will go in here so
There’s not any other pan that I need to eat no we have one pan and one pan only one pan for the husband to wash out when he gets home yeah when you’ve got color on both sides add some white wine after 2 minutes take out the garlic and rosemary and put some
Capers in chicken sto creem fresh in bring it up to the bowl and we leave it happy with that straight forward happy so quick quicker than bones very quick the beauty of this chicken dish is that you can leave it to finish while you lay the table when was the last time you
Made a cheesecake time for dessert and no baked cheesecake this is going to wipe the floor with the gate start creaming it for me please just squashing it in and creaming it right 6 tbspoon of sugar fresh vanilla pod 3/4 whipped the cream just taste that now with the vanilla in
There lovely add the vanilla cream to the cream cheese mix next crem de cassis a black currently cure I know you girls like a little bit of alcohol but look so everyone thinks cheesecake has to be long windy but look now where’s that [ __ ] gate in
The b in the bin is there right look at you old Glam right this menu is so quick Carol’s even had time to get changed before her guests arrive oh b a right you finish them yeah and I’ll get the ladies in and sat down it’s the pr cocktail girls come in
Come in come in come in nice to see you wi in hand nice to see my darling Oh Jesus pissed already wish take a seat ah Christ it’s like the calendar girls right take a seat now there’s no porn cocktail there is there no there’s not yeah I don’t
Think they’ll be upset do [Applause] you be better than normal much better look no problems ladies good to see you sorry about the porn cocktail but they’re gone you’re going have to wait another 13 years for another one for the last 2 months I’ve been offering the women of Britain a chance
To have their very own slice of the fword thousands of passionate female Cooks have applied and now it’s time to put my favorite to the test good evening fannies evening right which one do you [Applause] find oh God right Nina calm down get yourself a glass of wine my darling yes
Okay good now listen the good news is that you lot yes were the best of the best out of the thousands of female cooks that applied to be in my kitchen and three of you are going to show me who really is the best right here in my kitchen ravinda Bogle
Stand I’ve got some coriander my absolute favorite herb Denise [Applause] tfield straight in there now I’m tempted to drink it myself but no put it in the dish the Mas salad GMA [Applause] Hammer my top tip is to crack the egg and to gently hold it over with some of
The whites coming out just so it Cooks first now it’s time to see what you like under pressure you’ve all got 20 minutes Blow Me Away with something exciting rinda what are you going to cook tell me I’m going to do this piece of chicken stuffed with chopped
Mushrooms lemon Des lots of garlic and lots of chopped coriander good G what are you gonna do I’m gonna do Tuscan Chicken which is lemon thyme Rosemary Basel Shero nice good good good Denise what are you doing Dy I’m going to do chicken with a bit of a Spanish flavor
Got some peppers got a shalot bit of garlic some of the paprika lovely all right that looks nice so you roasting it with lemon herbs garlic and you’re going to put some fennel in there I’m going to roast fennel separ okay how you going to roast it I’m just going to
Roast with chili and olive oil when did you learn to cook well when I was about 5 years old my mom said to me if you don’t learn to cook now you’ll never get married and and you’re married with Children no that’s the irony I can cook but I haven’t found a Husband don’t you film that let’s not what you put turmeric I’ve got in there but quite a lot of it as it out okay fine I probably didn’t want it quite so orang hey h ready PL up yes rinda Sho Denise yeah I think let’s go
Yes now my three Fes have cooked their amazing dishes and it’s time to find out how good it tastes on the right hand side here Angela har one of the best female chefs in the country and Mark Sergeant my rightand man at clares right uh Gemma um what have we cooked please I
Made tuskan chicken and then I did roasted fennel with chili lovely do you get that spice as soon as you eat it so slightly overpowering it’s delicious though I love the fennel because the fennel is like um you’re right about sugar brought out the sweetness of it
It’s really nice for me slightly hot I’m told that an awful it’s a bit too hot I like the lemon in there okay good RAV now tell me about your dish Dar I did some chicken stuffed with chopped mushrooms garlic lemon zest lemon juice and balsamic vinegar reduction
Presentation wise very neat thank you you know as well you’ve got that sweetness at the end haven’t you that’s nice really the lemon goes really well together m fresh as well delicious Denise tell me what you’ve done d right I’ve done a sort of Spanish style chicken saffron rice Tomatoes garlic
Shalots and excellent s first impressions that really good rice is nice got a really nice texture I got slightly nervous when you put half a tin of turmeric in the rice but I was pretty myself when I saw that R it’s skin a little bit too crispy unfortunately
Burnt apart from that impressive what I like about all three dishes that you worked at it yeah I said to you get the idea and evolve it and I think you just did that so I made my decision the woman that I want to be my fanny is ravinda well
Done how you feeling iend up feeling like I need to be woken up dream you better wake up because he in dessert next week yeah yes yes well done oh my God okay big round yes let’s go next on the menu he may know how to
Look good naked but can got one beat me in the recipe challenge Hy honest winner loser and there’s a final twist as I take my Lambs to the slaughter last thing on my mind right now is [ __ ] shepherd’s Pie right welcome back to the f word now time to find out who has won the recipe challenge nervous [ __ ] myself look at me I’m shaking what you’ve done to me py honest winner loser right JB come back with the good news yes and you know
What if I don’t win I’m not sleeping with you just consider that so Edition number one and Edition number two thank you thank you quite strong Seafood taste definitely it’s quite it’s very light though W cook very well though yeah no they are brilliant the texture is quite nice instantly tastes
Corand yeah really strong really nice and there’s actually W there’s a lot of flavor in them bring in the good news yes okay uh the winner and I’m quite happy actually oh went near come here oh got come back I hate you Hey listen listen listen what on what
Grounds um I want a r I had to say off in the kitchen in chineseeasy Easy the kitchen yeah something like that now get out my kitchen love you so much all right I’ll send you car yes commiseration done see you later it’s time to say goodbye to my
Lambs It’s the final day for my flock at 17 weeks my Lambs are old enough to go to the slaughter I’ve been a sheep Farmer for 3 and a half months and it couldn’t have been been any more eventful one of my sheep died at Birth and then my lamb Charlotte was
Mysteriously killed at the Beckhams Gavin is the only original member of my flock still alive I like Gavin the most cuz he’s really friendly he’s living in my garden along with two French Lambs which replace Charlotte 3 weeks ago I called the other two the ugly two cuz they are
Ugly but on the of the slaughter there’s a final twist Gavin’s been diagnosed with pneumonia and being prescribed antibiotics official regulations State a lamb can’t be slaughtered for a month after these kind of injections so at the last minute Gavin has escaped Slaughter hey buddy we had the most
Amazing recipe for shepherd’s pie and you evaded it come on he’s saved luckily for me the two purebred Lambs are good for the chop so we load them up for their final Journey we can’t leave Gavin alone in our garden so he’s coming too Gavin you are one lucky little boy
Mate I tell you huh hey hey oh dear Here We Go Again you’ve never actually been inside a avatar no I think it’s one of those situations where I don’t quite know how I’m going to find it hello Mark do how you well I’m well
I’m well good to see you we um get them off the get them off the trailer for you okay great up up up up uh Mark it’s quite a quick process yes very quick I’m not very good when it comes to these kind of situations um it’s stun instantly instantly
Seconds Thro and up and then up onto the line yeah oh from start to finish how long uh what 20 seconds from stun to stick time maximum than let Okay I’m going to put the electric tongs on yes if you if you hold them steady okay they’re going to fall over induce an epileptic fit chained up and then put on the elevator and go upstairs and you can follow it up and watch make stick
Them if you want to in terms of the emotional impact you know they’ve been in the garden but they’re new arrivals so thankfully I’m not attached purposely I didn’t get close them watching it now i’ being part of it now it’s crucial for me right but awful when you see them
Just before it’s going to happen yeah I’m going to be holding my Lambs as they are stunned with tongs that charge to 200 volts okay let go the shock stuns the lamb so they feel no pain when their throat is cut it’s so professionally done it’s quick that’s the most important yeah I
Me it’s so done within seconds that’s great oh that’s just nerves Dy last thing on my mind right now is [ __ ] shepherd’s pie ready next one moments later my second lamb is slaughtered the same way very very odd experience I mean very traumatic I think when you when you just
See you know one minute you’ve got this SL lamb wriggling around next minute that’s it I really wanted to learn all I could about what happens after the Lambs are killed we start by skinning them it’s an incredibly skilled job initial cuts are called ripping lines CU
They’re ripping through the skin and now it’s just fruit Force so you push over both sides and really just pulling the the sheath out of the wall really yeah it’s amazing how hot the animal is yeah hold it there and put some put that hand on there as well and push towards
The wall on push lean on it lean on it the rest of the skin is removed by a machine to save time unbelievable I mean the lamb looks fantastic now doesn’t it in terms of quality wise yeah so next stage evisceration takes it up over you got the lungs the liver there
The heart the liver’s amazing there look at the liver does look very healthy doesn’t it as a kid I’m amazed how hot they are yeah it’s hard to believe that you know literally 5 minutes ago these things were rolling around straight yeah yeah all meat slaughtered in the UK is
Examined by government inspectors if the carcass passes it gets a stamp of approval one final job I’ve promised you fly whitting sto the brains to cook with I don’t want the brain full of [ __ ] skull yeah a little sh off the top of the cranial cavity that’s there you go there’s the brain
Exposed that’s good and there you have the brain they’re beautiful huh no bits to skull God amazing it’s still [ __ ] warm [ __ ] want process thank you pleasure it’s been a a really big eye opener I can relate to it now cuz that’s how we get it that’s how we would arrive at
Clares straight from the farm now time to start thinking about burning out the legs breaking it down the rack the neck good a good pair of lambs there okay JB results for the desserts yes the amount of ladies that are happy to pay for desserts [ __ ] me 16 out of 50 what
16 what did they say um two alcoholic two alcoholic yeah they’re girls what’s wrong with that that’s the most hilarious thing I’ve heard all [ __ ] year you know that so total that is 75 out of 150 sadly in the end four X army officers by beat by a bunch of lasses you you
By on the menu next week service comes from my Mayfair restaurant and Ricky juas and I share a drink to celebrate spunk I’m slly screamish to drink oh now the trouble that that’s very old spun H WT stall helps me cook up my Lamb’s brains this will certainly be the
Freshest set of brains I’ve ever worked with and I go head to head with Johnny Vegas in the recipe challenge you copying me again yeah I just live to follow you I have G Ramy parties we all just sit around tell each other [ __ ] [Applause] Off la la la la la la la
