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how many braincells do i have? ☝️ | Kitchen Nightmares UK
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Our 17 customers are local dancers who’ve hot footed it here in between shows they need to be in and out within an hour and a half the food’s prepped and the restaurant’s only half full and with Nigel by his side Dave should be able to

Go thank you sir I need to see the kitchen Under Pressure mhm so um I know he’s your boyfriend yeah yep but give him some work to do bring him on hey you ready sure no I put me 3 Ines of water in the bottom of that mate dealing with several

Orders at a time is standard practice in the kitchen so first order on but within seconds of receiving the first Bunch Dave’s flapping about like a headless chicken yeah okay Don right you just put me four checks in yeah who’s in first okay yeah they’re both came in

Together we got both the checks at the same time big deal [ __ ] and whilst he’s been panicking about the orders Dave’s burnt the custard crem F so that’s on that’s on chicken do you call out the orders Dave so sorry you never call out the orders yeah but I

Mean I’m I’m struggling in my own mind at the minute so right how not to run a restaurant rule number three if you lose all powers of communication Under Pressure you shouldn’t even be in the kitchen nice you be do anything Dave you’ve clammed up you’ve talked to him

Tell him what you want him to do I’m not sure sorry I’m not sure myself so it’s your [ __ ] restaurant I know it’s my Resturant right get me a piece of pork no ST Dave you looking the [ __ ] already I am yeah you are the customers have been here 27

Minutes and they still haven’t had a sniff of grub I’m going to be nearly ready to go in a minute on the first table Yeah right love thank you the food has finally started to leave the kitchen but whether it’s edible or not is another matter it’s depressing they’re cooking

For a dying room is only half full but for cl to survive it needs to be completely Chalker at weekends very difficult to keep people placated when you’re not goinging anyway giveing all I’ll pay [ __ ] me it’s been a long time it’s hard so I’m getting no feedback from

Dawn so I’m I’m like I’m running blind Running Blind at a minute and not what feedback do you need right now well really if is everybody okay is anyone you know starting to sort of like winge cuz they’re waiting or it’s just relax just relax all over the shop like a

[ __ ] Ranger you cool down and just relax and get yourself composed I think you do a 10 times better job yeah yeah I know yeah you’re right yeah yeah without getting paranoid our guests have to leave in 15 minutes and they haven’t even started on desserts yet said you’ve

Got table two two moves one bread and but pudding have I got it yeah you got it right table seven four moves have I got it R of the Year Blackpool yeah [ __ ] hole of the year um yeah making hard work and nothing really all over the place completely disorientated in his

Own kitchen very bad at delegation and totally in a mess I can’t think of two things at once 17 guests that’s all it took him 1 hour and 5 minutes to cook for 10 people and the last seven guests taken 45 minutes shocking what’s going on in there Lenin

Is really [ __ ] embarrassing me out there let me let me give you a hand so um who’s commun who’s communicating who’s who’s doing what anyone in what’s that Lo down there who put that under there obviously the smoldering 35° heat in this kitchen has started to scramble

Their brains who put it under the grill guys I put it under and did you look after it Les I just assumed they saw me put it under right next to me when I did it this is like a [ __ ] Lauren Harvey Show H this is another fine mess I’ve got myself

Into salad four three salad veg sorry it’s a fast there is overco is that overco with mother and son playing the blame game where is it what there’s no where it’s going the [ __ ] off this is the problem we have most of the time [ __ ] waitresses no one is taking control T

To’s now looking for some discount I’d say get fued no you don’t you can’t do that you don’t speak to customers two Bott of wine TOS that’s like nearly 30 but you can’t speak to a cost like that well I [ __ ] disagree well I I’ll sort

It out what I’m just saying the f this kitchen’s a pressure cooker waiting to explode like a anyway let’s not argue let’s just try and get some food out let [ __ ] off [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] it yourself a head chef who can’t stand the heat [ __ ] what happened to the quaint family run

Restaurant [ __ ] me it’s not normal this you know this is not [ __ ] normal huh doing your M favor is one thing helping to run her business into the ground is another you can’t be happy with this it does hurt to see it because I know that

Every penny your mom’s got is in her house is in this everything’s in this [ __ ] I apologize so much Mo’s giving away over £100 worth of free drink and food she’ have been better off closing for the night and saving the restaurant’s reputation Lin stand next to your mom I

Actually sat down with a little bit of excitement you know that thinking Christ this is quain this is beautiful then when the food arrived trust me I don’t think quite honestly we need to hear any more bad comments on the food tonight cuz I’ve had a [ __ ] belly F we’re in

The [ __ ] strange setup so he’s out there on the barbecue and you’re left to run the kitchen [ __ ] it out you’re 20 years of age you’re 18 years of age I mean how come you got all that responsibility and what happens when it’s busy sh who would put someone who’s clearly a

Good Chef in charge of a barbecue time to find out from the manager but which one Kirsty how are you the general manager is Lois’s daughter-in-law before coming to Britain she worked in restaurants in her native New Zealand last year the barbecue how would you describe

That um my aim was for a kiwi barbecue I thought that that sort of territorial kiwi Beach life something like that but sweetheart we’re not in [ __ ] ockland we’re in sangate the lack of focus in this place is is astounding Lois hasn’t even got her Flagship fine dining restaurant under

Control the majority of the complaints that come through are normally on your day off have you ever eaten in the restaurant no cuz if the complaints are going on when you’re not here you’ve got to see what they’re serving in the dining room so you can really do something about it properly

And identify are we too complicated is the menu too big are they inexperienced do we need to simplify what what do I need to do as a head Chef you’re the food bage manager have you ever eaten up here no how can you relate to your customer’s experience if you’re not

Experiencing the same time go upstairs order y I think you’ll find something very interesting going on there yep Kirsty hasn’t worked at the sharp end of the business for about 8 months so today she’s going to waitress I don’t know what’s on and what’s off but I’m sure you do student

Number two in the kitchen is 21-year-old Johnny hello so what’s going first joh I’m going to send this B first and then the starters the branch just gone up for the two but I can’t find anyone to take it out of the lift yet God is it always

Like this yeah Johnny runs the kitchen two days a week when Stewart’s off this is my chance to see how he CES come on guys that’s 10 minutes left place to be there we’re [ __ ] around with a garish they’re a young team to be cooking such

Elaborate food and just to add to it Johnny they ordered it over 1 hour ago yeah yeah let’s get it out guys come on Careful I’m not going to allow you to send them this is really important for you you know that from a professional point of view cuz you’ve got to go all the way up to the top in this [ __ ] industry not serving [ __ ] like that big boy and all you’re doing by serving that

[ __ ] is near hey destroying the place and that’s just on a [ __ ] burger and I know you can do better than that you know that I Know I Can Do Better there you go so [ __ ] do it yeah there are only nine customers in for lunch but it’s well over an hour

Before Stuart and Kevin get their Mains that cool belly it up here did you get that I can my unfortunately Kevin and Stuart aren’t the only unhappy customers Johnny Table 9 are [ __ ] off they’ve gone that’s the table that had no starters went straight to the main courses where’s the ticket

Gone in the bin why have you put it in the bin I didn’t but that’s where I ended up [ __ ] wake up will you wake up this is one of the worst lunch Services I’ve ever seen Johnny’s tried his best but the real culprit is clear it’s Stewart’s food it’s just far too

Complicated the slacker chefs are paid well to cook dross I need to investigate what they’re doing wrong expensive Lobster will only attract Niche customers and they won’t come back if it’s badly cooked uh madam what you I had the post Lobster Poober which is it tough yes

It’s tough yeah it’s laborless same I’m going to get to the bottom of why this Lobster tastes so tough Jesus how come they’re all cooked uh you don’t cook these to order uh no they cooked them before they just blunch in water for like 4 minutes that’s it really they

Look like they’ve been cooked for lot longer than 4 minutes there’s so much money here but why are they all cooked and separated from their bodies because for when they use them they can pick up straight away like that Jesus look another [ __ ] set there’s £200 worth of

Lobster here precooking is wasteful and ruins the taste it’s Bing when when did these arrive this one but they’re all open there this morning I know we not serving them are you but they’re dead they’re all open so not not inside what Alex come on [ __ ] me I’m not blind I

Know I know you’re not blind G they’re open every one of them’s open so are we using them tonight if we need some yeah we you’ll kill somebody they’re all open they’re dead you can’t serve them Alex yeah I know you’re not that [ __ ] stupid no I’m not [ __ ] stupid about

That I know a little bit about fish so are we going to serve these tonight no thank you [ __ ] hell put them in the bin Jesus Christ [ __ ] me those muscles could have been fatal I’m going to tackle Alan about the kitchen disasters bizarrely he acts like there’s no

Complaints there’s no sense in light I’m telling you the TRU in general people it I’m [ __ ] amazed what I’ve been here the first day I found [ __ ] Bing calm SE bass open [ __ ] muscles the most horrendous [ __ ] plant of Freedom I’ve ever seen in my entire life and now you’re

Thinking that it’s rare that someone’s complaining about no I’m not I’m just I’m telling you you’re a very good no no no no I’m telling you what I’m told no I don’t need to [ __ ] and I’m not going to lie because I know no [ __ ] no I’m

Not no I’ve been honest [ __ ] day one and I’ll will always be honest you’re not going to get lies get the [ __ ] truth if some if people complaining I tell you people complain they don’t complain what do you want it’s not about what I want I’m telling you the truth no you’re

No you’re telling me I’m a liar don’t tell me I’m a liar don’t do that man I’m not acting I’m telling the truth yeah you call me an actor [ __ ] what did I just say you said you said people so the muscles were [ __ ] closed were they no

It’s got nothing to do with that I didn’t see the muscles so I’m taking a word just so close I no that they were open I at don’t tell me I’m acting and I’m lying cuz I ain’t and I ain’t man and it ain’t happening you’re doing show

Really good job you’re out of order you’re out of order tell me I’m doing a show I ain’t doing a show I’m running I’m running doing things I said you amaze me all these things going on in your kchen you you don’t give a [ __ ] of course I give a Fu if

You sorry silly ass you’re stupid ass why do you think I don’t give a [ __ ] how dare you how dare you say I don’t give a [ __ ] you’re scared who am I scared of you scar no not me hey you’re scared about your chefs your [ __ ] scared of me

Oh fine you just called me a silly arms yeah yeah you haven’t got the bullets to go in there and tell them the truth the chefs are taken advantage of Alan but only because he’s weak Alan’s in denal about what’s happening in his own kitchen before I’m make any changes and

Need to see how Daniel runs the kitchen it’s Saturday night but at 7:00 p.m. with the first table already seated Rachel seems agitated he’s not ready and there’s hardly anything on the menu so he’s not ready like to do some cooking yourself what’s he been doing for the

Last 3 hours that’s what I’m he’s he’s a just he’s pretty chilled out that’s just the way he is Daniel’s first order is for two Garden salads Almost 20 minutes later he’s still fiddling with the salads to the pman park is this how it normally functions I would say so my fault this is a joke I’ve never seen anything like this I’ve not seen anything like this this Brazilian nut has lost his marbles it’s burning it’s burning it’s Bur ra there’s a pan here burning I’m trying to change the pan for him and he’s just telling leave it there cring stop stop stop stop stop there are now eight people in the restaurant and barely anyone is getting served I mean I’ve seen some bad Kitchen

In my time but not quite as disorganized and [ __ ] chaotic as this never been to a Cary for ages last time I went I think it was um back in 1982 called The Bernie in and it was a Sunday lunch and it was [ __ ] Gastly the PRI food must be denture

Friendly this place is rammed with a blue rinse Brigade on the youngest here by for miles it’s almost like they’ve opened a soup kitchen for the elderly and it’s a sort of glamorous old people’s home but my age concern is explained when the golden oldies keep turning up with suspicious looking

Vouchers from the local papers we offer 2 m for price of one it’s $9.99 for is that for that’s for your car you put a discount on $9.99 we do how much discount um it’s buy one get one free um so 50% so you eat here for

Five um yes I’m starting to feel left out am I the only one here without a voucher did bring your coupon yes you did yeah two and did you bring your voucher today yes yes did you bring your coupon that’s what we get I mean it’s

Cheaper to come here than is cooking at home oh yes definitely yeah for two us it’s really marvelous right here you must have dementia to only let half your punters pay no wonder this business is losing money the foods a bargain assuming is up to scratch tobe’s the prior’s head chef his

Claim to fame was a stint at Planet Hollywood he’s the Starship Trooper in charge of the Carval I don’t very much eat roast dinners when I’m home nowadays doing them every day but I still eat them as you say never trust a skinny Chef do you his sidekick Bob is the part-time Calvary

Chef right what have we got you got turkey here yes right you got um Gam ribber Beef Pork and lamb so these are done every day these are every day Yeah what what what stuff is that that’s Peach and nut bound with an orange juice and it’s rather nice so they sell us Peach and nut bound with orange juice yeah that’s a doin glood H this is a throwback isn’t it I have a little bit of the doin was okay holy

Mackerel Jesus and all that for a fi yeah just enjoy it Gordon [ __ ] hell first potatoes cooked a [ __ ] and stuffing that was like sort of trying to cut through a silicon implant and it I’m doing yoran pudding well soggy and turkey well H it’s just so dry

Tasty even the quality of the beef it’s dry that was shocking we’re still stuck in the doldrums here and all I’ve had today so far has been [ __ ] [ __ ] at its best tonight I’ve pressed gang some reluctant locals into eating here I need to see how Mike handles cooking for a full

Restaurant such a large menu like that must been nightmare no it is this do customers wait long for food not usually Mike’s confident I’m not his menu is made up a cookbook recipes designed for home Cooks to lovingly slave over but for one man to try and

Cook them from scratch for a restaurant is Madness the dishes are just too complicated to be cooked quickly Mike’s running around like a headless chicken oh [ __ ] I’m doing it the hard way I know that F me you’re doing it the hard way H what’s clear right now Mike is obviously not a [ __ ] Chef he should

Be cooking for three or four tables at the same time he’s not he’s only cooking for one so it’s like watching my mom at home cooking for a dinner party 2 hours into service and the food just not getting out order yet we hav’t taking the order yet it’s like a famine

Customers are staving of hunger by eating bar snacks with a an unworkable menu the service is spiring out of control the pressure is on this husband and wife team and these two are going to war Mike’s even got his own Welsh battlecry for Karen huh what’s going on what do you mean

What’s going on this well what am I supposed to do they be never for [ __ ] I was H these tables are fued in yeah it’s [ __ ] ridiculous well whose fault is that mine is it this isn’t a marriage it’s a battlefield their relationship needs some serious fixing outside

There’s more trouble Brewing so it was better for them to sit there where they we’ve been waiting here since 8:00 I’m going home I couldn’t give a [ __ ] about your crappy buddy pob it’s an absolute load of shot you’ve got a 70y old buddy woman with us and you haven’t a bloody

[ __ ] and that’s for you well that’s your prerogative I did apologize for the there’s no need to bloody swear and Stu in front of everybody I’m sorry you know a crap yeah well don’t bother coming back good bastard I can’t believe what I’m hearing there’s no stopping this woman

There’s a misunderstanding over and Order Karen’s going off and one again enough since 5:00 this morning I’ve come here especially for this I know you have and I’ve got nothing for it well whose fault is that it’s not my fault you was the one that said you was leaving I

Didn’t say you were leaving I said of our [ __ ] thing are leaving now I want you to leave now because I don’t want to be sworn at I’ve had a tad fall tonight now if you want to swear at me again you can leave right

Now no I hav’t got blood yet you’re not being SW up who who Out right just get in your car and go oh dear this is a first of me I’ve never ever seen a customer chucked out of restant like that before that is [ __ ] embarrassing and no wonder this place is in serious trouble because that was appalling what in the [ __ ] have I

Got myself into here